Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Sod Off Wednesday: May 25 (2 am edition)

Why are there so damn many birds singing at two o'fucking'clock in the morning? Do the city lights make them think it's been dawn for the last six hours? Are they the bird equivalent of rebellious teenagers? Is this their version of standing outside a strip joint yelling "live nude girls" and handing out leaflets? Did Keanu Reeves tell them that if they chirp less than 10 times a minute their nest will explode? And how did he sell that to so many birds at once? Are the birds really asleep and this is that car alarm that sounds like bird songs? Maybe it's a bird city council meeting that's running late because everyone is complaining about the birds singing all night.

Well they can all just bloody well sod off.


GreenCanary said...

It can't be that the street lights make them think it's daylight, because Ollie, king of all Birds Who Wake People Up, sleeps at night. Must be the Keanu Reeves one.

Ibid said...

That's why we cover Ollie with a thick tarp and close the shutters. If we keep it dark enough maybe we'll get to sleep in a bit longer.