Thursday, December 04, 2008

Santa's House Elves

A friend of mine has a couple of sharp little girls. I'm getting them a microscope for Christmas. But they are still little girls. A couple of years ago the oldest became concerned about Santa's elves. She wanted to know if they're slaves. So their father took them to the mall to ask Santa. But, in the father's words,

Oh, she punked out :) She was afraid Santa would get angry. I told her he wouldn't, but if she didn't want to ask, that was fine. I did ask her if it was still on her mind, but she said she figured they always looked so happy, they probably got a lot of vacation, which meant they weren't slaves, since slaves probably don't ever get vacation. Kid's astute. Regardless, the concept is still quite worthy of socking away as a good scene for a script or one-act or something.

Naturally, I felt compelled to answer.

Short answer: They're more like house elves than LOTR elves. They work there because they like it.

Longer answer: You can get into the gaelic mythology about how if the elves like you they can come clean your house, repair shoes, do woodwork, etc. in exchange for a plate of milk.

Hippie answer: Santa has a big commune in the far north where they all eat together, live together, and all work for the common good.

Cruel answer: Santa has an assistant known as the Krampus. While Santa gives toys to the good boys and girls the Krampus stuffs the bad ones in a sack and takes them away. Those aren't elves. They're bad children.

1 comment:

Malaise Inc said...

I think the hippie answer also involves some brownies, man.