Regular readers will remember me talking about the live action version of the
Diskworld book "The Hogfather" released by SkyOne in England two Christmases back and recently released on DVD. Well, now SkyOne has released "The Colour of Magic". It's a two part show that covers the first two books of the Diskworld series. And, I should add, that it was mucked about with sufficiently to reflect the quality inherent in the later books instead of the rubbish that were these first two. A narrator has been added and the whole thing works much better than "The Hogfather" did.
You should be able to download a torrent of it in all the less reputable P2P websites. Or you can do the right thing and wait a year and a half for it to come out on DVD. I already downloaded it AND will be getting the DVD.
Here's the story:
The Diskworld is a flat, circular world carried on the back of four massive elephant that stand on the back of an even more massive turtle. Most books focus on the city of Ankh-Morpork in one regard or another.
"The Colour of Magic" starts in Ankh-Morpork with the single most inept wizard, or "Wizzard" as his hat says, Rincewind being expelled from Unseen University after 40 years of not learning a single spell. Rincewind is played by the gentleman who once did the voice of Danger Mouse and Count Duckula.
Rincewind soon encounters a tourist known as Two Flower. Two Flower comes from the Counterweight Continent on the other side of the disk. It's made of a great deal of gold so as to act as a better counter to the main continent. Flashing around that much gold means that Rincewind just tries to get his share and vanish before the crowds slaughter Two Flower and take his gold. Two Flower is played by Sean Austin, recently back from his trip to Mordor and back.
What with one thing and another Ankh-Morpork catches fire and our heroes go looking to see the sights somewhere they're less likely to get lynched. They find themselves captured by some dragon lords and escape in a highly truncated sequence. As the dragon they escape on fades into nothingness they fall in the ocean and are nearly washed over the rim. They find their way to a civilization that wants to sacrifice them in the hopes that ... well, they escape onto a space ship that is going over the edge of the rim to find the turtle's gender.
There's a parallel story of a wizard killing his way to the top. But to get ultimate power, and save the world from plunging into a star, he needs all 8 spells in a book called the Octavo. Alas, the 8th spell is hiding in Rincewind's head.
In part/book 2 the spells have remade the Diskworld with Rincewind and Two Flower on it instead of drifting through space. On the way back to Ankh-Morpork they hook up with Cohen the (97 year old) Barbarian. They get back and save the Diskworld.
Of the whole series of Diskworld books these two are the weakest. They're also the first. This show does much better with the story but there's still value in reading the book.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
No, really
As a computer tech it often falls to me to haul around computers and monitors. And it falls to the people who use those machines to run around looking for a cart or something so I won't hurt myself hauling this big, heavy, but-not-as-heavy-as-it-looks equipment. I try to explain that this stuff isn't all that heavy to me. Heavy is dragging a plow across the yard. Heavy is the last few bales of alfalfa on the trailer after you've just cleared a field of them.
As I'm bringing order to my house I found a photo album from back when cameras used film. I had to bring it in to prove to people that I'm not exaggerating about me and farm work.
As I'm bringing order to my house I found a photo album from back when cameras used film. I had to bring it in to prove to people that I'm not exaggerating about me and farm work.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Where are you
It's been one of those mornings. I don't feel like typing anything.
So, for those of you who are reading this at what the hit counter registers as two in the morning, where are you? I know I have at least one reader in India. She's a looker, too.
Also, unleaded gasoline is selling for US$3.35/gallon. Luckily I don't use gasoline. What does petrol cost where you are?
So, for those of you who are reading this at what the hit counter registers as two in the morning, where are you? I know I have at least one reader in India. She's a looker, too.
Also, unleaded gasoline is selling for US$3.35/gallon. Luckily I don't use gasoline. What does petrol cost where you are?
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Game review: Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude
When I was a kid there were two game companies worth mention. There was Atari and there was Sierra. Sierra rocked. They had the King's Quest series, Space Quest series, Police Quest series, the Leisure Suit Larry series, and a few others I'm sure I'm missing. They had a formula that was great and sold well. Most any geek my age knows who Roberta Williams (game writer at Sierra) was. A friend of mine called the help number often enough that they knew each other by first name.
In these games you were a pixelated, 16 color character. You roamed around the world picking up items and trying to figure out how to use them to get other things. Get the feather, the cat fur, the oatmeal, and the wand, get into the basement while the wizard was away, make the cookie that turns the wizard into a cat so you can get kidnapped by pirates who take you to...
They were problem solving games. It required a certain kind of reasoning that appealed to people who later became programmers.
Leisure Suit Larry had the added appeal of having you drive a wanna-be womanizer and the promise of pixelated, 16 color, scantly clad women. There were three Larry games before Sierra dropped it. The demand never died.
As game systems evolved newer "King's Quest" games came out, but they were lacking somehow. Typing in commands was part of the appeal. Clicking wasn't the same. But they made an honest attempt to stick to the old format.
A couple years back they released another "Leisure Suit Larry" game. The reviews were universally bad. But with the PS3 out the price of PS2 games is dropping. I got it for a few bucks. Naturally the graphics are much improved. The game play, however, was not.
Before you had to explore and solve puzzles to get things to impress the women.
Now you go talk to the woman and play one of 4 mini-games.
There's a side scroller where you navigate a sperm to hit green markers and avoid red ones.
There's a button masher where you have to press a button as an icon passes over a dot. Kind of a "Dance Dance Revolution" idea.
There's a button masher where you have to press a button as it flashes on the screen.
And there's quarters, where you pull the joystick back so far and then forward so far to toss a coin.
It's those 4 games over and over and over again.
There's a couple of other games. There's a pong type game for extra confidence points and there's a game where you pass out flyers to four rows of advancing people for extra money. But they, too, get old fast.
The loading sequences take forever, but during those scenes they show either the digital women you're supposed to seduce in provocative poses or else real models based on the women in the game.
In short, don't bother. Sierra should try again but stick closer to the original games. That's what made them big and that's what we want.
In these games you were a pixelated, 16 color character. You roamed around the world picking up items and trying to figure out how to use them to get other things. Get the feather, the cat fur, the oatmeal, and the wand, get into the basement while the wizard was away, make the cookie that turns the wizard into a cat so you can get kidnapped by pirates who take you to...
They were problem solving games. It required a certain kind of reasoning that appealed to people who later became programmers.
Leisure Suit Larry had the added appeal of having you drive a wanna-be womanizer and the promise of pixelated, 16 color, scantly clad women. There were three Larry games before Sierra dropped it. The demand never died.
As game systems evolved newer "King's Quest" games came out, but they were lacking somehow. Typing in commands was part of the appeal. Clicking wasn't the same. But they made an honest attempt to stick to the old format.
A couple years back they released another "Leisure Suit Larry" game. The reviews were universally bad. But with the PS3 out the price of PS2 games is dropping. I got it for a few bucks. Naturally the graphics are much improved. The game play, however, was not.
Before you had to explore and solve puzzles to get things to impress the women.
Now you go talk to the woman and play one of 4 mini-games.
There's a side scroller where you navigate a sperm to hit green markers and avoid red ones.
There's a button masher where you have to press a button as an icon passes over a dot. Kind of a "Dance Dance Revolution" idea.
There's a button masher where you have to press a button as it flashes on the screen.
And there's quarters, where you pull the joystick back so far and then forward so far to toss a coin.
It's those 4 games over and over and over again.
There's a couple of other games. There's a pong type game for extra confidence points and there's a game where you pass out flyers to four rows of advancing people for extra money. But they, too, get old fast.
The loading sequences take forever, but during those scenes they show either the digital women you're supposed to seduce in provocative poses or else real models based on the women in the game.
In short, don't bother. Sierra should try again but stick closer to the original games. That's what made them big and that's what we want.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Movie Review: Horton Hears a Who
"Horton Hears a Who" is clearly a cruel bastardization of a decent children's book. I won't see it. But it's also a movie that's big enough to deserve a review. So I give you a review written by Inomi.
It's safe to say this was not even close to being as execrable as it could have been. In fact, it was actually quite nice and not as overwrought and painfully manic as Jim Carrey's last turn as a Seuss protagonist. I took the girls out to see this after the morning events for Zombie Jesus Day wore off and we were looking for something to do that involved not being in proximity to chocolate for a while.
To be fair, I've read "Horton" to the girls numerous times, and I know it only takes 10-15 minutes to get through the book, even when using my reading-a-book-voice and meter, so it's inevitable that a metric ton of extra content would have to be added to pad the movie out to a requisite 90 minutes or so, and about 80% of it is perfectly fine.
The characterization of Horton is really quite nice, and Carrey does a good job of playing Horton's resoluteness and steadfast personality on its own. Maybe keeping him from actually being /on/ camera is the trick to pulling out a good performance from him.
What makes this movie work is that it really keeps the unnecessary "adult" jokes to a minimum. By "adult", I don't mean inappropriate or obscene, but the unfortunate legacy of "Shrek" where every modern kids movie seems to be intent on tossing in so-clever asides and "over-the-kids-heads" jokes, as if the parents had worse attention spans than their kids. Aside from a few zingers, the movie had a very storybook feel to it, and was better because of it.
An interesting aspect of the movie... there were a few scenes where Horton's imagination takes hold, and it turns into a cell-animated fantasy vision, looking a great deal like the style of the old Chuck Jones "Grinch" cartoon. However, one aside, when Horton is running for the mountaintop to drop off the speck, turns into a 2-minute anime freakout, complete with bad dubbing, huge, glistening eyes, garish colors and everything. It's a completely unexpected trip and the audience sat in stunned silence when it was over. I'm not sure if it was meant to be hilarious or just ridiculously unexpected, and therefore random, therefore appropriately post-ironic, and maybe the mother of all grown-up-targeted movie jokes, but it was extremely weird, for which I can appreciate it on that level, I suppose.
It's safe to say this was not even close to being as execrable as it could have been. In fact, it was actually quite nice and not as overwrought and painfully manic as Jim Carrey's last turn as a Seuss protagonist. I took the girls out to see this after the morning events for Zombie Jesus Day wore off and we were looking for something to do that involved not being in proximity to chocolate for a while.
To be fair, I've read "Horton" to the girls numerous times, and I know it only takes 10-15 minutes to get through the book, even when using my reading-a-book-voice and meter, so it's inevitable that a metric ton of extra content would have to be added to pad the movie out to a requisite 90 minutes or so, and about 80% of it is perfectly fine.
The characterization of Horton is really quite nice, and Carrey does a good job of playing Horton's resoluteness and steadfast personality on its own. Maybe keeping him from actually being /on/ camera is the trick to pulling out a good performance from him.
What makes this movie work is that it really keeps the unnecessary "adult" jokes to a minimum. By "adult", I don't mean inappropriate or obscene, but the unfortunate legacy of "Shrek" where every modern kids movie seems to be intent on tossing in so-clever asides and "over-the-kids-heads" jokes, as if the parents had worse attention spans than their kids. Aside from a few zingers, the movie had a very storybook feel to it, and was better because of it.
An interesting aspect of the movie... there were a few scenes where Horton's imagination takes hold, and it turns into a cell-animated fantasy vision, looking a great deal like the style of the old Chuck Jones "Grinch" cartoon. However, one aside, when Horton is running for the mountaintop to drop off the speck, turns into a 2-minute anime freakout, complete with bad dubbing, huge, glistening eyes, garish colors and everything. It's a completely unexpected trip and the audience sat in stunned silence when it was over. I'm not sure if it was meant to be hilarious or just ridiculously unexpected, and therefore random, therefore appropriately post-ironic, and maybe the mother of all grown-up-targeted movie jokes, but it was extremely weird, for which I can appreciate it on that level, I suppose.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Movie Review: Shutter and horror audio
This movie was barely advertised at all. For some reason the ad in the paper appealed to me. And it wasn't bad. It'd better than many movies in this genre. It's not a slasher flick. But the stuff that creeped me out the most were the sound effects. I'll get to that after the review.
"Shutter" is the story of a photographer and his new bride that take a trip to Japan for a contract photography session. When they look at their honeymoon photos there's weird streaks on most of them. Then on the drive to their new job they hit some woman standing in the middle of the road. More and more photos turn up streaky. One of the husband's big expensive photo sessions is completely ruined. A moving figure in one of the developing photos splashes developer chemicals in the husband's eyes. Still, he refuses to believe there's a problem. Eventually the wife's investigations reveal that the spirit is that of one of her husband's ex-girlfriends. Is she a jealous ex trying to drive off the new wife or a wronged woman trying to warn off the next victim?
It's not a bad movie. It's just the season that there's nothing much better to see. Will not get on DVD. Best seen in a second run theatre.
Now, uh, the sound effects. Go back several years. 2002 or 3. I was playing "Thief 2", one of the best computer games ever. Even my parrot loves this game. There's one level with a haunted library. As I crept through the secret passage toward that room a breezy, whispering, mumbling, groaning sound got louder and louder. It was really creeping me out. I armed up, saved my game, and opened the door. It was a library. Rows upon rows of shelves. Rows upon rows of blind corners that could be hiding anything. The sound continued. A light, transparent figured moved up on the second level. I started down the carpeted path. My parrot was on my shoulder staring intently at the screen. Step by careful step I moved along, trying not to draw the attention of the thing on the next level and watching the shelves for something to step out. But nothing did. Instead it materialized about six inches from my face. Gandolf screamed and flew off. I screamed and knocked over my chair. By the time I got back the apparition was gone.
Later I called up my girlfriend at the time. I knew she was at work. I wanted her answering machine. I placed the phone by the speaker and let it run for 30 seconds or so before hanging up. Aaaanyway, I'm single now. But she was thoroughly freaked out just by that one clip of audio.
A few years later I was in my new house and Halloween was coming. I moved my old computer by the window, played the game to that room on that level, stuffed the character where I knew he wouldn't get hurt, and dropped the speakers out the window. Then I watched the reaction of people on the sidewalk. Adults slowed and then hurried away. High school girls bickered about who would have to approach the house first. One little boy, 5 years old or so, froze about half way between the gate and the house.
There were a couple of scenes in the movie that had sound effects much like in the game. Those were the creepiest part of the movie.
"Shutter" is the story of a photographer and his new bride that take a trip to Japan for a contract photography session. When they look at their honeymoon photos there's weird streaks on most of them. Then on the drive to their new job they hit some woman standing in the middle of the road. More and more photos turn up streaky. One of the husband's big expensive photo sessions is completely ruined. A moving figure in one of the developing photos splashes developer chemicals in the husband's eyes. Still, he refuses to believe there's a problem. Eventually the wife's investigations reveal that the spirit is that of one of her husband's ex-girlfriends. Is she a jealous ex trying to drive off the new wife or a wronged woman trying to warn off the next victim?
It's not a bad movie. It's just the season that there's nothing much better to see. Will not get on DVD. Best seen in a second run theatre.
Now, uh, the sound effects. Go back several years. 2002 or 3. I was playing "Thief 2", one of the best computer games ever. Even my parrot loves this game. There's one level with a haunted library. As I crept through the secret passage toward that room a breezy, whispering, mumbling, groaning sound got louder and louder. It was really creeping me out. I armed up, saved my game, and opened the door. It was a library. Rows upon rows of shelves. Rows upon rows of blind corners that could be hiding anything. The sound continued. A light, transparent figured moved up on the second level. I started down the carpeted path. My parrot was on my shoulder staring intently at the screen. Step by careful step I moved along, trying not to draw the attention of the thing on the next level and watching the shelves for something to step out. But nothing did. Instead it materialized about six inches from my face. Gandolf screamed and flew off. I screamed and knocked over my chair. By the time I got back the apparition was gone.
Later I called up my girlfriend at the time. I knew she was at work. I wanted her answering machine. I placed the phone by the speaker and let it run for 30 seconds or so before hanging up. Aaaanyway, I'm single now. But she was thoroughly freaked out just by that one clip of audio.
A few years later I was in my new house and Halloween was coming. I moved my old computer by the window, played the game to that room on that level, stuffed the character where I knew he wouldn't get hurt, and dropped the speakers out the window. Then I watched the reaction of people on the sidewalk. Adults slowed and then hurried away. High school girls bickered about who would have to approach the house first. One little boy, 5 years old or so, froze about half way between the gate and the house.
There were a couple of scenes in the movie that had sound effects much like in the game. Those were the creepiest part of the movie.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Equinox
Stuff to say... sigh. Ok, I got it.
Tomorrow (arguably today) is the Equinox. That is the sun should be passing over the equator today. If you're plotting out the sun's path to make an analemma tomorrow is the day that the figure 8 should cross. It's also the ancient pagan holiday that was chosen to be converted to Easter as the Christians took over. But where we can say pretty confidently that Jesus wasn't born on Christmas we can't be as sure that Easter wasn't when Jesus was nailed to a plank.
Ok, that was short. As long as I'm on the subject of crucifying people let me clarify something about that. We've long been taught that Jesus was make to drag his cross up to where he'd get nailed to it. That's not quite how it worked. When crucifying people they'd tie the cross beam to the condemned and make them carry that to where the vertical beam was already waiting.
Tomorrow (arguably today) is the Equinox. That is the sun should be passing over the equator today. If you're plotting out the sun's path to make an analemma tomorrow is the day that the figure 8 should cross. It's also the ancient pagan holiday that was chosen to be converted to Easter as the Christians took over. But where we can say pretty confidently that Jesus wasn't born on Christmas we can't be as sure that Easter wasn't when Jesus was nailed to a plank.
Ok, that was short. As long as I'm on the subject of crucifying people let me clarify something about that. We've long been taught that Jesus was make to drag his cross up to where he'd get nailed to it. That's not quite how it worked. When crucifying people they'd tie the cross beam to the condemned and make them carry that to where the vertical beam was already waiting.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Fan art
I read a lot on online cartoons. Among them is "Happysad". The art is simple, but clean. The theme runs along one central character and his unrequited love.
The artist for "Happysad" is feeling burned out and planned a vacation. I suggested that he put out the call for fan art to fill the space. He loved the idea so I whipped out a comic.
Today he made the call for fan art and used my cartoon to kick things off.
http://www.kartoen.be/wp/2008/03/19/call-for-fan-art/
The artist for "Happysad" is feeling burned out and planned a vacation. I suggested that he put out the call for fan art to fill the space. He loved the idea so I whipped out a comic.
Today he made the call for fan art and used my cartoon to kick things off.
http://www.kartoen.be/wp/2008/03/19/call-for-fan-art/
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
ngh
"ngh"
That was my initial response. Once I got a chance to contemplate a bit more I went on to add...
"guh"
Arthur C Clarke just died.
"sigh"
I just looked through my library. It's kind of depressing how little of it has Clarke's name on it. I know I have more than I'm seeing. Much of what I am pulling up is probably Dad's stuff. The stuff I'm not seeing is probably at his house. Looking at his list of works I see that there's a LOT of books of his that I KNOW are here somewhere.
Arthur C Clarke wasn't just another science fiction writer. Forget his age and the fact that most modern science fiction writers grew up reading his stuff. Clarke was an inventor, a philosopher, and a damn good writer in any genre. He joined Walter Cronkite as commentator for the moon shots in the 60's. One of his books "Songs of Distant Earth" was the inspiration for an album of the same name. What we call "science fiction" is usually "space fantasy". He helped put the science in science fiction. As we move into space his name will be used for naming ships, colonies, and structures more than almost anyone. He already has an asteroid, two awards, a Martian probe, a dinosaur, and an orbit named for him. The third movie adaptation of one of his books is in pre-production and will probably spawn 3 sequels if it gets done.
For all intents and purposes he invented the communications satellite. He popularized the concept, did the math, and calculated the orbit necessary to put a satellite in stationary orbit around the Earth. It's called Geosynchronous Orbit or Clarke Orbit. All our TV signals, much of our cross country phone traffic, and no small part of our internet traffic runs through a halo of electronics 35,786 km (22,240 miles) over the equator.
He came up with the idea for a space elevator in his book "The Fountains of Paradise". He thought it, more than the communication satellite, would be his lasting legacy to the world. I believe it's what will finally make space travel commonplace. It's a cable of carbon nanotubules that will reach down from Clarke Orbit and allow an elevator to climb it into orbit. It would reduce the cost of taking stuff into space to just a couple pennies for each dollar now spent.
I think the first will come down in the Indian Ocean near Clarke's adopted home in Sri Lanka and will be called Clarke Tower or something similar.
Clarke suffered from the after effects of polio. In 1954, while scuba diving off the coast of Sri Lanka, he discovered that he could still move normally underwater. He moved there in 1956 and remained an avid scuba diver until late in life.
Personally, it took me a long time to discover Clarke's writings. I made the mistake of watching "2001: A Space Odyssey" first. It's a great movie and a great cure for insomnia. I blamed the slow, plodding nature of the movie on the author instead of the director. When I first read something of his, a short story I think, it was good enough for me to consider giving him another chance.
Arthur C Clarke was 90 years old. He died in a hospital in Sri Lanka following respiratory difficulties.
As prolific as he was he may well still be putting out books when I'm 90 years old.
That was my initial response. Once I got a chance to contemplate a bit more I went on to add...
"guh"
Arthur C Clarke just died.
"sigh"
I just looked through my library. It's kind of depressing how little of it has Clarke's name on it. I know I have more than I'm seeing. Much of what I am pulling up is probably Dad's stuff. The stuff I'm not seeing is probably at his house. Looking at his list of works I see that there's a LOT of books of his that I KNOW are here somewhere.
Arthur C Clarke wasn't just another science fiction writer. Forget his age and the fact that most modern science fiction writers grew up reading his stuff. Clarke was an inventor, a philosopher, and a damn good writer in any genre. He joined Walter Cronkite as commentator for the moon shots in the 60's. One of his books "Songs of Distant Earth" was the inspiration for an album of the same name. What we call "science fiction" is usually "space fantasy". He helped put the science in science fiction. As we move into space his name will be used for naming ships, colonies, and structures more than almost anyone. He already has an asteroid, two awards, a Martian probe, a dinosaur, and an orbit named for him. The third movie adaptation of one of his books is in pre-production and will probably spawn 3 sequels if it gets done.
For all intents and purposes he invented the communications satellite. He popularized the concept, did the math, and calculated the orbit necessary to put a satellite in stationary orbit around the Earth. It's called Geosynchronous Orbit or Clarke Orbit. All our TV signals, much of our cross country phone traffic, and no small part of our internet traffic runs through a halo of electronics 35,786 km (22,240 miles) over the equator.
He came up with the idea for a space elevator in his book "The Fountains of Paradise". He thought it, more than the communication satellite, would be his lasting legacy to the world. I believe it's what will finally make space travel commonplace. It's a cable of carbon nanotubules that will reach down from Clarke Orbit and allow an elevator to climb it into orbit. It would reduce the cost of taking stuff into space to just a couple pennies for each dollar now spent.
I think the first will come down in the Indian Ocean near Clarke's adopted home in Sri Lanka and will be called Clarke Tower or something similar.
Clarke suffered from the after effects of polio. In 1954, while scuba diving off the coast of Sri Lanka, he discovered that he could still move normally underwater. He moved there in 1956 and remained an avid scuba diver until late in life.
Personally, it took me a long time to discover Clarke's writings. I made the mistake of watching "2001: A Space Odyssey" first. It's a great movie and a great cure for insomnia. I blamed the slow, plodding nature of the movie on the author instead of the director. When I first read something of his, a short story I think, it was good enough for me to consider giving him another chance.
Arthur C Clarke was 90 years old. He died in a hospital in Sri Lanka following respiratory difficulties.As prolific as he was he may well still be putting out books when I'm 90 years old.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Book Review: The Drawing of the Dark
Some time back My Krodie recommended "The Drawing of the Dark" by Tim Powers. It went in the stack and just got read. Apparently it's something of a classic fantasy that didn't catch on as well as some people think it deserved.
It is a fantasy novel. Instead of creating a new Middle Earth type world that doesn't have much of anything to do with reality, this book takes 1529 Europe and overlays a fantasy world on top of an invasion by Muslims into Vienna.
Our hero is busy going about his life when he's jumped by a band of ruffians in Venice. After fighting them off a strange man offers him a job as a bouncer in Vienna with a handsome salary. He takes the job and finds himself escorted there by a legion of supernatural beings. Eventually his patron makes it to Vienna and starts dropping hints about what's happening.
The Fisher King is sick and dying. He needs beer that has been aged for 700 years over the grave of Finn MacCool to restore him to health. The health of the Fisher King and the lands of the west are linked. As one fails so does the other. So the Muslims of the east want Vienna and the beer destroyed before the beer matures.
Our hero and his patron have lived this cycle over and over in various lives but only the patron is aware of our hero's true identity.
I'm not much of one for fantasy, except humor/fantasy, but it was a good book. If you are a fantasy reader then I recommend adding this to your collection.
It is a fantasy novel. Instead of creating a new Middle Earth type world that doesn't have much of anything to do with reality, this book takes 1529 Europe and overlays a fantasy world on top of an invasion by Muslims into Vienna.
Our hero is busy going about his life when he's jumped by a band of ruffians in Venice. After fighting them off a strange man offers him a job as a bouncer in Vienna with a handsome salary. He takes the job and finds himself escorted there by a legion of supernatural beings. Eventually his patron makes it to Vienna and starts dropping hints about what's happening.
The Fisher King is sick and dying. He needs beer that has been aged for 700 years over the grave of Finn MacCool to restore him to health. The health of the Fisher King and the lands of the west are linked. As one fails so does the other. So the Muslims of the east want Vienna and the beer destroyed before the beer matures.
Our hero and his patron have lived this cycle over and over in various lives but only the patron is aware of our hero's true identity.
I'm not much of one for fantasy, except humor/fantasy, but it was a good book. If you are a fantasy reader then I recommend adding this to your collection.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Haircut
I got a haircut last weekend. It turned out a bit shorter than I liked. I threw on my coat and headed out the door. I saw myself reflected in the glass and smiled. 
One thing about the new Doctor Who incarnations is that it's a lot easier to make up a costume. One haircut and a shave and I'm almost there. Only they have a better lighting technician.
The thing is that I know how I tend to dress and how I tend to keep my hair. With the suits I've been looking at lately I'm much more likely to end up looking like this.
And once I get old enough so my Segway becomes too tricky to manage you know I'll get one of these.
What? An electric wheelchair with a Segway motor, a bit of cosmetic work, and it shouldn't be hard to incorporate a computer. As long as I have a wi-fi signal I'm at work anywhere in the world.
One thing about the new Doctor Who incarnations is that it's a lot easier to make up a costume. One haircut and a shave and I'm almost there. Only they have a better lighting technician.The thing is that I know how I tend to dress and how I tend to keep my hair. With the suits I've been looking at lately I'm much more likely to end up looking like this.
And once I get old enough so my Segway becomes too tricky to manage you know I'll get one of these.
What? An electric wheelchair with a Segway motor, a bit of cosmetic work, and it shouldn't be hard to incorporate a computer. As long as I have a wi-fi signal I'm at work anywhere in the world.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Movie Review: Doomsday
I saw more ads for this movie than trailers. The trailers weren't at all promising. If I were paying money I wouldn't have seen it. But it was free. And it turned out to be much better than I expected.
"Doomsday" is basically "Escape From Northern Ireland". In April of 2008 a new virus named "Reaper" appears in England. It's extremely contagious and very gross. People start dropping like flies. Limited containment is tried but eventually they have to build a couple of walls across the middle of the England and leave the northern half of the island to die off.
It's now 2035. A police raid in London reveals a roomful of people dying from Reaper. There's some clearly idiotic "evacuation" of London into an island in the middle of London. So now there's a severely overcrowded part of London and a virus. They explain why there's an island in the middle of London and it kinds makes sense. Most of the other plot holes don't get addressed.
Three years ago satellite footage showed some people in the streets of one of the northern cities. They thought everyone was long dead by now. Where there's people there must be a cure. A hot warrior woman is selected to lead an expedition. A bunch of other people are selected to go along to die in a variety of unpleasant ways. They're driving NBCs (a heavily armored military vehicle) and wearing battle isolation suits. (a what now?) Yeah, I know.
Figuring that the scientist who was working on a cure way back when, and who they sealed in the north, must have succeeded they go to his hospital. They drive all the way there without seeing anyone. They wander through the hospital checking room by room without seeing anyone. Not even signs of recent human activity. And then WHAM! People pouring out of every shadow. Hundreds of them and all from a Mad Max flick. How the hell did this many people hide from satellites for this long? Both NBCs, vehicles designed to shake off landmines are taken out by people armed with moltov cocktails and basic archery kit. Our heroes gun down dozens of crazed locals before being overwhelmed.
So our heroine meets the Madmaxians and eventually escapes with the daughter of the scientist she came to find. They catch a train to go find daddy. They take a shortcut through a mountain where I fully expected to find a Balrog. The scientist has moved into an old castle and his people have adopted all the trappings thereof. It was amusing to have a medieval England scene and see the "Gift shop" sign still up and the stained glass windows showing biohazard logos. Our heroine finds herself in the 1530's equivalent of Thunderdome and escapes.
Then there's this pretty awesome road battle when the Madmaxians catch up with the heroine. No, really, primo road battle.
I've given a lot away, but really I haven't. It's reasonably predictable.
The movie starts kinda weak but as it moves on it gets better. Part of it is just being able to settle back and enjoy. Part of it is the director getting into the swing of things as the movie progresses. Part of it is the fact that it's a horror movie on one side of the wall and a post-apocalypse action movie on the other. The folks in the north still have a sense of humor.
I'm glad I saw it and would probably rent it again to sit around and watch with friends. But I have no need to get it on DVD.
"Doomsday" is basically "Escape From Northern Ireland". In April of 2008 a new virus named "Reaper" appears in England. It's extremely contagious and very gross. People start dropping like flies. Limited containment is tried but eventually they have to build a couple of walls across the middle of the England and leave the northern half of the island to die off.
It's now 2035. A police raid in London reveals a roomful of people dying from Reaper. There's some clearly idiotic "evacuation" of London into an island in the middle of London. So now there's a severely overcrowded part of London and a virus. They explain why there's an island in the middle of London and it kinds makes sense. Most of the other plot holes don't get addressed.
Three years ago satellite footage showed some people in the streets of one of the northern cities. They thought everyone was long dead by now. Where there's people there must be a cure. A hot warrior woman is selected to lead an expedition. A bunch of other people are selected to go along to die in a variety of unpleasant ways. They're driving NBCs (a heavily armored military vehicle) and wearing battle isolation suits. (a what now?) Yeah, I know.
Figuring that the scientist who was working on a cure way back when, and who they sealed in the north, must have succeeded they go to his hospital. They drive all the way there without seeing anyone. They wander through the hospital checking room by room without seeing anyone. Not even signs of recent human activity. And then WHAM! People pouring out of every shadow. Hundreds of them and all from a Mad Max flick. How the hell did this many people hide from satellites for this long? Both NBCs, vehicles designed to shake off landmines are taken out by people armed with moltov cocktails and basic archery kit. Our heroes gun down dozens of crazed locals before being overwhelmed.
So our heroine meets the Madmaxians and eventually escapes with the daughter of the scientist she came to find. They catch a train to go find daddy. They take a shortcut through a mountain where I fully expected to find a Balrog. The scientist has moved into an old castle and his people have adopted all the trappings thereof. It was amusing to have a medieval England scene and see the "Gift shop" sign still up and the stained glass windows showing biohazard logos. Our heroine finds herself in the 1530's equivalent of Thunderdome and escapes.
Then there's this pretty awesome road battle when the Madmaxians catch up with the heroine. No, really, primo road battle.
I've given a lot away, but really I haven't. It's reasonably predictable.
The movie starts kinda weak but as it moves on it gets better. Part of it is just being able to settle back and enjoy. Part of it is the director getting into the swing of things as the movie progresses. Part of it is the fact that it's a horror movie on one side of the wall and a post-apocalypse action movie on the other. The folks in the north still have a sense of humor.
I'm glad I saw it and would probably rent it again to sit around and watch with friends. But I have no need to get it on DVD.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Movie Review: The Hogfather
By request, I'm responding to this article. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/03/06/AR2008030601359.html
I touched on this movie before. I guess I didn't review it properly because it had aired in England and my copy wasn't what you'd call "legal". But now the DVD has been released in the United States.
The author of this article bases his complaint on the low budget nature of the film. I honestly don't know what the budget for this movie was. There's a documentary on the storming of Normandy coming out this summer where the beach rush was recreated using only three actors and a computer. Three days of shooting and they made hundreds of people running across the beach and scaling cliffs. You can't tell it from a Spielberg flick with hundreds of extras. Budget has little to do with anything these days if you know what you're doing.
The Brits are masters of low budget. Classic Dr. Who looks like they spent more on tea than on sets but they still got me to hide behind the couch. The play "Our Town" uses only a ladder for a prop. A good story and a good actor can cover any budget shortfall.
The point is that it doesn't really look low budget. The writer says "I should note that my 8-year-old son ran screaming from the room in terror after 15 minutes." That right there should tell you what a good job they did with it. It wasn't even Death or the Boar/Santa that did it. It was just a creepy actor with a milky eye.
Any problems with this film had more to do with time constraints than with a money shortage. Or, perhaps even just an inherent problem translating this particular book to film.
Take the "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". It was a brilliant radio show that became an equally brilliant book. However, adapting it to the screen was hindered by the fact that so much of the humor is involved with the descriptions and the narration. Similarly with "The Hogfather" there's background and explanation needed for certain things. The wizards of unseen university lose much of their quality babble. The relevance of a shower built by Bloody Stupid Johnson is lost completely. Without the descriptions the whole scene is shot. You can piece together the Assassins Guild but why do the Auditors want Santa dead? Why do all these other imaginary creatures suddenly come into being? Why does Death take the role of Santa/Hogfather? How is this Susan girl Death's granddaughter? Some of this is explained or at least hinted at but it's done very quietly. Really, that's my biggest complaint. The whole movie is done quietly. Go ahead. Crank the volume. It doesn't help. It's still quiet.
The thing is that the movie is directed toward the huge Discworld fan base. Most people watching it are gonna know the story already. If you didn't know who Jesus was you're not gonna understand Mel Gibson's "Passionate Beating of Some Skinny Guy". The movie ends with the deceased walking around naked with holes in his hands. It looks like a prequel to "Night of the Living Dead". The fans of "The Bible" are gonna get it but the rest aren't. Same story with "The Hogfather". If you're not a fan you're gonna struggle.
For the problems this movie had I'm still looking forward to the next one. A "The Colour of Magic" movie is in the works.
That's right, I compared a Discworld book to "The Bible". I could probably also make an arguement that the Discworld books have a better message.
Now go read my last post on this movie.
http://dougintology.blogspot.com/2007/01/santa-claus.html
And if you want to look into Discworld books I'd suggest starting with "Mort". The books don't have to go in order. Starting at the beginning is a mistake. "Mort" is one of the best jumping off points.
I touched on this movie before. I guess I didn't review it properly because it had aired in England and my copy wasn't what you'd call "legal". But now the DVD has been released in the United States.
The author of this article bases his complaint on the low budget nature of the film. I honestly don't know what the budget for this movie was. There's a documentary on the storming of Normandy coming out this summer where the beach rush was recreated using only three actors and a computer. Three days of shooting and they made hundreds of people running across the beach and scaling cliffs. You can't tell it from a Spielberg flick with hundreds of extras. Budget has little to do with anything these days if you know what you're doing.
The Brits are masters of low budget. Classic Dr. Who looks like they spent more on tea than on sets but they still got me to hide behind the couch. The play "Our Town" uses only a ladder for a prop. A good story and a good actor can cover any budget shortfall.
The point is that it doesn't really look low budget. The writer says "I should note that my 8-year-old son ran screaming from the room in terror after 15 minutes." That right there should tell you what a good job they did with it. It wasn't even Death or the Boar/Santa that did it. It was just a creepy actor with a milky eye.
Any problems with this film had more to do with time constraints than with a money shortage. Or, perhaps even just an inherent problem translating this particular book to film.
Take the "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". It was a brilliant radio show that became an equally brilliant book. However, adapting it to the screen was hindered by the fact that so much of the humor is involved with the descriptions and the narration. Similarly with "The Hogfather" there's background and explanation needed for certain things. The wizards of unseen university lose much of their quality babble. The relevance of a shower built by Bloody Stupid Johnson is lost completely. Without the descriptions the whole scene is shot. You can piece together the Assassins Guild but why do the Auditors want Santa dead? Why do all these other imaginary creatures suddenly come into being? Why does Death take the role of Santa/Hogfather? How is this Susan girl Death's granddaughter? Some of this is explained or at least hinted at but it's done very quietly. Really, that's my biggest complaint. The whole movie is done quietly. Go ahead. Crank the volume. It doesn't help. It's still quiet.
The thing is that the movie is directed toward the huge Discworld fan base. Most people watching it are gonna know the story already. If you didn't know who Jesus was you're not gonna understand Mel Gibson's "Passionate Beating of Some Skinny Guy". The movie ends with the deceased walking around naked with holes in his hands. It looks like a prequel to "Night of the Living Dead". The fans of "The Bible" are gonna get it but the rest aren't. Same story with "The Hogfather". If you're not a fan you're gonna struggle.
For the problems this movie had I'm still looking forward to the next one. A "The Colour of Magic" movie is in the works.
That's right, I compared a Discworld book to "The Bible". I could probably also make an arguement that the Discworld books have a better message.
Now go read my last post on this movie.
http://dougintology.blogspot.com/2007/01/santa-claus.html
And if you want to look into Discworld books I'd suggest starting with "Mort". The books don't have to go in order. Starting at the beginning is a mistake. "Mort" is one of the best jumping off points.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Book Review: The Ig Nobel Prizes
This falls under the category of bathroom literature. Not that the contents are particularly low brow. I mean that each section is just a couple of pages.
The Ig Nobel awards are awarded each year to reward the strangest, silliest, or just plain screwed up research done each year. It's hard to explain, really.
Here's the list of winners for 2007
* Aviation: Patricia V. Agostino, Santiago A. Plano and Diego A. Golombek, for discovering that hamsters recover from jetlag more quickly when given Viagra.
* Biology: Johanna E.M.H. van Bronswijk, for taking a census of all the mites and other life forms that live in people's beds.
* Chemistry: Mayu Yamamoto for extracting vanilla flavour from cow dung.
* Economics: Kuo Cheng Hsieh, for patenting a device to catch bank robbers by ensnaring them in a net.[8]
* Linguistics: Juan Manuel Toro, Josep B. Trobalon and Nuria Sebastian-Galles, for determining that rats sometimes can't distinguish between recordings of Japanese and Dutch played backward.
* Literature: Glenda Browne, for her study of the word "the".[9]
* Medicine: Dan Meyer and Brian Witcombe, for investigating the side-effects of swallowing swords.
* Nutrition: Brian Wansink, for investigating people's appetite for mindless eating by secretly feeding them a self-refilling bowl of soup.[10]
* Peace: The Air Force Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, for suggesting the research and development of a "gay bomb," which would cause enemy troops to become sexually attracted to each other.
* Physics: L. Mahadevan and Enrique Cerda Villablanca for their theoretical study of how sheets become wrinkled.
The awards ceremony is usually broadcast in whole or in part during the "Talk of the Nation: Science Friday" the day after Thanksgiving. (http://www.sciencefriday.com/) Or you can watch the video webcast directly from Improbable Research website. (http://www.improb.com/ig/2007/webcast/)
The appendix lists all the winners. As does the Wikipedia page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Ig_Nobel_Prize_winners).
The book just serves to expand upon some of the more interesting or absurd awards over the years.
The Ig Nobel awards are awarded each year to reward the strangest, silliest, or just plain screwed up research done each year. It's hard to explain, really.
Here's the list of winners for 2007
* Aviation: Patricia V. Agostino, Santiago A. Plano and Diego A. Golombek, for discovering that hamsters recover from jetlag more quickly when given Viagra.
* Biology: Johanna E.M.H. van Bronswijk, for taking a census of all the mites and other life forms that live in people's beds.
* Chemistry: Mayu Yamamoto for extracting vanilla flavour from cow dung.
* Economics: Kuo Cheng Hsieh, for patenting a device to catch bank robbers by ensnaring them in a net.[8]
* Linguistics: Juan Manuel Toro, Josep B. Trobalon and Nuria Sebastian-Galles, for determining that rats sometimes can't distinguish between recordings of Japanese and Dutch played backward.
* Literature: Glenda Browne, for her study of the word "the".[9]
* Medicine: Dan Meyer and Brian Witcombe, for investigating the side-effects of swallowing swords.
* Nutrition: Brian Wansink, for investigating people's appetite for mindless eating by secretly feeding them a self-refilling bowl of soup.[10]
* Peace: The Air Force Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, for suggesting the research and development of a "gay bomb," which would cause enemy troops to become sexually attracted to each other.
* Physics: L. Mahadevan and Enrique Cerda Villablanca for their theoretical study of how sheets become wrinkled.
The awards ceremony is usually broadcast in whole or in part during the "Talk of the Nation: Science Friday" the day after Thanksgiving. (http://www.sciencefriday.com/) Or you can watch the video webcast directly from Improbable Research website. (http://www.improb.com/ig/2007/webcast/)
The appendix lists all the winners. As does the Wikipedia page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Ig_Nobel_Prize_winners).
The book just serves to expand upon some of the more interesting or absurd awards over the years.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Movie Review: 10,000 BC
I didn't have much idea what to expect going into this movie aside from wild historical inaccuracies.
Up on a snowy mountain top, above the tree line, above the cloud layer, there's a tribe of people who wear dreadlocks and goatees. A herd of woolly mammoths passes by often enough for them to get most of their food from it. On top of a mountain. There's also plenty of firewood lying around. On top of a mountain. Above the tree line. But the mammoths have been passing less often and in fewer numbers. After a blue eyed girl comes the old woman of the village makes a prophecy about four legged demons coming to wipe them out. So the lead hunter leaves to investigate the demons and missing mammoths.
Jump forward 15 years or so. The lead hunter's son kills a mammoth, becomes lead hunter, and wins the heart of the blue eyed girl. Then the village is raided by people on domesticated horses - in the year 10,000 BC - who take several people as slaves, including the blue eyed girl. So lead hunter and a few friends go on a rescue mission. They follow the slavers over some even taller mountains - during the onset of winter - down into the jungle, into the tall grass where they're attacked by Rocs, into the desert where they make friends with people our hero's father once met and he fulfills one of their prophecies, befriends tribes of every race, goes to the river where they just miss sailboats - in the year 10,000 BC - carrying off the slavers. They march through the desert successfully because the lead hunter is the first person to follow a star successfully. They find where Atlanteans, who look like Indians, are building the pyramids using the mammoths and the slaves.
Blah, blah, free the slaves, save the girl, everyone goes home.
The special effects are fine, the mammoths look great, the story would makes Edgar Rice Burroughs proud, but the movie just isn't engaging. Maybe it's because I was on the leading edge of the cold that kept me from posting yesterday. Probably not.
See it at the dollar theater.
Up on a snowy mountain top, above the tree line, above the cloud layer, there's a tribe of people who wear dreadlocks and goatees. A herd of woolly mammoths passes by often enough for them to get most of their food from it. On top of a mountain. There's also plenty of firewood lying around. On top of a mountain. Above the tree line. But the mammoths have been passing less often and in fewer numbers. After a blue eyed girl comes the old woman of the village makes a prophecy about four legged demons coming to wipe them out. So the lead hunter leaves to investigate the demons and missing mammoths.
Jump forward 15 years or so. The lead hunter's son kills a mammoth, becomes lead hunter, and wins the heart of the blue eyed girl. Then the village is raided by people on domesticated horses - in the year 10,000 BC - who take several people as slaves, including the blue eyed girl. So lead hunter and a few friends go on a rescue mission. They follow the slavers over some even taller mountains - during the onset of winter - down into the jungle, into the tall grass where they're attacked by Rocs, into the desert where they make friends with people our hero's father once met and he fulfills one of their prophecies, befriends tribes of every race, goes to the river where they just miss sailboats - in the year 10,000 BC - carrying off the slavers. They march through the desert successfully because the lead hunter is the first person to follow a star successfully. They find where Atlanteans, who look like Indians, are building the pyramids using the mammoths and the slaves.
Blah, blah, free the slaves, save the girl, everyone goes home.
The special effects are fine, the mammoths look great, the story would makes Edgar Rice Burroughs proud, but the movie just isn't engaging. Maybe it's because I was on the leading edge of the cold that kept me from posting yesterday. Probably not.
See it at the dollar theater.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Dougintology Aquisitions Department
Everybody has one of their own, but rarely do you hear anybody mention the defense mechanisms of the young bookshelf. When relocated to a strange and unfamiliar location they begin to produce a noxious odor that can lead to headaches and worse in poorly ventilated rooms. Be sure to give your new shelves some time alone to adjust to it's new surroundings before loading it with books.
With the addition of the attic the room with the newly exposed brick wall and bamboo floors gets converted from storage room to library. I have moved many of the more portable bookshelves in there and filled them. More shelves are clearly necessary. So I ordered these.
They are viewed here in part of my office. I supposed I should clarify that mine are the spiffy Tetris looking things and not the boring shelves lining the walls.
I've closed the door to that room and opened the windows in there. I'm pretty sure I would have passed out by the end of the day otherwise.
It's not formaldehyde like we first thought. It's been treated so it doesn't off-gas formaldehyde. Instead they rubbed linseed oil on it and THAT's what's making the place smell.
With the addition of the attic the room with the newly exposed brick wall and bamboo floors gets converted from storage room to library. I have moved many of the more portable bookshelves in there and filled them. More shelves are clearly necessary. So I ordered these.
They are viewed here in part of my office. I supposed I should clarify that mine are the spiffy Tetris looking things and not the boring shelves lining the walls.
I've closed the door to that room and opened the windows in there. I'm pretty sure I would have passed out by the end of the day otherwise.
It's not formaldehyde like we first thought. It's been treated so it doesn't off-gas formaldehyde. Instead they rubbed linseed oil on it and THAT's what's making the place smell.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
You are in a 6x2 chamber. It is dark.
I am not a huge gamer. I've been involved in a few games of D&D, as well as some of the games inspired by D&D, but I don't even have my own dice. Being that as it may I have to mention the passing of Gary Gygax Tuesday.
Gary Gygax was the principle creator of the role playing game "Dungeons and Dragons". In this role he became the father of modern gaming and grandfather of a wide swath of computer gaming. Without him there probably would never have been the "Final Fantasy" and "Phantasy Star" series of games or the "World of Warcraft" and "Everquest" games, and, of course, all the related games. In any programming class there were always a few people who had to write a program to generate characters for their favorite role playing game.
His games provided a means of social interaction for millions of social outcasts and provided a community for them. Thousands of people credit him for helping them become doctors, lawyers, police officers and more.
I may not feel his passing as acutely as I did the passing of Douglas Adams or Jim Henson but I know many people who do. I want to join with them in praising his contributions and mourning his passing.
from Penny Arcade
from Nodwick who pulled it from ... someone else.
from Order of the Stick
from Dork Tower
And don't forget the tribute by Wil Wheaton at http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2008/03/across-the-sea.html
Gary Gygax was the principle creator of the role playing game "Dungeons and Dragons". In this role he became the father of modern gaming and grandfather of a wide swath of computer gaming. Without him there probably would never have been the "Final Fantasy" and "Phantasy Star" series of games or the "World of Warcraft" and "Everquest" games, and, of course, all the related games. In any programming class there were always a few people who had to write a program to generate characters for their favorite role playing game.
His games provided a means of social interaction for millions of social outcasts and provided a community for them. Thousands of people credit him for helping them become doctors, lawyers, police officers and more.
I may not feel his passing as acutely as I did the passing of Douglas Adams or Jim Henson but I know many people who do. I want to join with them in praising his contributions and mourning his passing.
from Penny Arcade
from Nodwick who pulled it from ... someone else.
from Order of the Stick
from Dork TowerAnd don't forget the tribute by Wil Wheaton at http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2008/03/across-the-sea.html
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Meeting people
I don't normally write about relationship issues. Not here anyway. Mom reads this. But I'm gonna touch on something here that has been getting lots of coverage on more popular blogs. The topic is how single women are supposed to meet single guys. There's about a million caveats I should include, but the biggest is that these rules change depending on what kind of person you want and what kind of relationship you want.
1) Probably the most important thing to do is go out alone.
This is also item one on the "Five Ways To Get Attacked" list. So while you want to go out by yourself you don't want to be alone.
The key factor here is not being in a pack of friends. Guys know the friends of a woman you're trying to win points with are only slightly less cruel than children. Children are just plain evil.
Being in a group makes it significantly more difficult for someone to approach you.
I go out by myself all the time and I'm always having guys hit on me. Yeah, bad news for you and me both.
2) Lose the finger jewelry.
Wedding and engagement rings go on one of those three middle fingers on either the right or left hand. So if you want to wear a purely decorative ring put it on your thumb or pinky.
Some will argue that decorative rings are clearly decorative rings and relationship rings are clearly relationship rings. This may be so to someone who is into rings. However, most guys aren't. Many of us would buy either a gum wrapper twisted in a circle or something that can hold poison or something unless we have someone telling us what is and isn't appropriate.
I've seen all sorts of rings used for engagement rings and several oddities for wedding rings, too. I have some friends who made each other's wedding rings. One has said he'll make one for me some day if I can get him a laboratory made diamond to play with. They're not normal looking rings.
I've also seen people using rings that have been passed down over the generations. These tend to have more jewels and be more gaudy than modern rings.
And if you keep moving your hands around so we can't get a good look at the ring we really can't tell. One woman threw me off for a couple of months because she was wearing her class ring. Her hand was always in motion when I saw her so all I knew was that is was shiny and on some central finger.
You can probably wear one of those rings that has chains running to a bracelet or other rings. That's almost never used as anything but decoration. But I HAVE seen one as an engagement ring once.
3) Give the guy some way to start up a conversation.
Pets are a traditional favorite but not always a possibility. Carry a good book around with you. You don't have to be reading it, although you should have at some point. You could just have it sticking out of your bag. It should be something that a guy is likely to have read so stay away from the Oprah book club. It should also be something that you'd enjoy reading.
I rarely answer personal ads, but one I did because she had read Robert Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land". Turned out she only read it because it's enough of a classic that she felt it was something she SHOULD be reading.
I'm always getting in conversations about books with other guys on the subway.
4) Stay out of the bars.
This is one of those caveats I mentioned before. Bar = meat market. You're more likely to meet Mr. Right in a chat room than you are in a bar. But if you're looking for a short term thing or just someone for the night then go right ahead.
Ask any group of people where to meet a guy and they're gonna start listing bars first. Often these are people who know better. It's just reflex. They're right in that you'll meet a lot of guys there. But are you after quality or quantity?
4.1) Coffee shops. That's the place. A guy sitting alone in a coffee shop is probably there hoping to meet someone. That or using the free Wi-fi. or both.
The most promising date I've had since moving to DC was with a woman I met in a coffee shop. She just caused every hormone gland in my body to dump at once. We went out a few times and then hung out a few times. An amazing woman, perfect in almost every way. But she writes letters to the kids she'll have some day and I don't want to have kids ever. I'm just not up for a relationship that is guaranteed to end poorly. We kept hanging out until she landed a job at a non-profit. She works 12 hour days 6 days a week. The time she had left she used for laundry, going to visit family, etc. We see each other on the street from time to time.
4.2) Or the park. Same basic idea. Look for a guy sitting alone. Especially if he has a parrot on his shoulder. I know that's where most guys hit on me.
5) Ask him out yourself.
"But traditionally..."
"I want the man to chase..."
"A man needs the confidence to..."
"But I'm afraid I'll get rejected."
Fuck all that. It's the 21st century. There's no more arranged marriages. You don't need someone to look after you. Tradition is just another word of "There's no good reason for it". The guys are afraid of being rejected, too, and have been ever since the first female amoeba laughed at the first male amoeba and made sure every other bit of slime in the pond laughed at him, too.
I've actually had a woman I'd never seen before walk up to me, tell me they'd never go out with me, and storm off. That was a real WTF moment.
You can drop all the hints you want, wear whatever slinky outfit you want, and flirt outrageously but the only sure way to let him know you're interested is to ask him out.
In college there was one woman who was interested in me. We saw each other around the dorms all the time and had several classes together. We were pretty friendly and she was really interested in me. But she was a flirt. She flirted with absolutely everyone. I had no way of knowing that she was actually interested until she out and told me as she was turning in her final. By the time I caught up with her the semester break was over and she had met someone else.
I was having dinner with a couple of girls I'd gone to college with. They told me the waitress was hitting on me. I didn't believe them. I mean, she's a waitress. How can you tell who is hitting on you and who is working for tips?
6) Friends.
The idea is that if you have friends in common then you're likely to have something in common, too. It doesn't always work, but it's someone you wouldn't have otherwise had contact with.
My cousin and his wife tried to hook me up with the wife's best friend. She had quite a bit going for her except she smoked and she lived in Seattle.
7) Get a better job(see 4.1)
If you have one of those jobs where you work 12 hour days 6 days a week your options are:
1) remain single with the occasional 1 night stand
2) date a co-worker
3) move in with someone who seems OK and hope things work. Because that's the only way you're gonna have time to see this guy.
4) get a job with better hours
1) Probably the most important thing to do is go out alone.
This is also item one on the "Five Ways To Get Attacked" list. So while you want to go out by yourself you don't want to be alone.
The key factor here is not being in a pack of friends. Guys know the friends of a woman you're trying to win points with are only slightly less cruel than children. Children are just plain evil.
Being in a group makes it significantly more difficult for someone to approach you.
I go out by myself all the time and I'm always having guys hit on me. Yeah, bad news for you and me both.
2) Lose the finger jewelry.
Wedding and engagement rings go on one of those three middle fingers on either the right or left hand. So if you want to wear a purely decorative ring put it on your thumb or pinky.
Some will argue that decorative rings are clearly decorative rings and relationship rings are clearly relationship rings. This may be so to someone who is into rings. However, most guys aren't. Many of us would buy either a gum wrapper twisted in a circle or something that can hold poison or something unless we have someone telling us what is and isn't appropriate.
I've seen all sorts of rings used for engagement rings and several oddities for wedding rings, too. I have some friends who made each other's wedding rings. One has said he'll make one for me some day if I can get him a laboratory made diamond to play with. They're not normal looking rings.
I've also seen people using rings that have been passed down over the generations. These tend to have more jewels and be more gaudy than modern rings.
And if you keep moving your hands around so we can't get a good look at the ring we really can't tell. One woman threw me off for a couple of months because she was wearing her class ring. Her hand was always in motion when I saw her so all I knew was that is was shiny and on some central finger.
You can probably wear one of those rings that has chains running to a bracelet or other rings. That's almost never used as anything but decoration. But I HAVE seen one as an engagement ring once.
3) Give the guy some way to start up a conversation.
Pets are a traditional favorite but not always a possibility. Carry a good book around with you. You don't have to be reading it, although you should have at some point. You could just have it sticking out of your bag. It should be something that a guy is likely to have read so stay away from the Oprah book club. It should also be something that you'd enjoy reading.
I rarely answer personal ads, but one I did because she had read Robert Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land". Turned out she only read it because it's enough of a classic that she felt it was something she SHOULD be reading.
I'm always getting in conversations about books with other guys on the subway.
4) Stay out of the bars.
This is one of those caveats I mentioned before. Bar = meat market. You're more likely to meet Mr. Right in a chat room than you are in a bar. But if you're looking for a short term thing or just someone for the night then go right ahead.
Ask any group of people where to meet a guy and they're gonna start listing bars first. Often these are people who know better. It's just reflex. They're right in that you'll meet a lot of guys there. But are you after quality or quantity?
4.1) Coffee shops. That's the place. A guy sitting alone in a coffee shop is probably there hoping to meet someone. That or using the free Wi-fi. or both.
The most promising date I've had since moving to DC was with a woman I met in a coffee shop. She just caused every hormone gland in my body to dump at once. We went out a few times and then hung out a few times. An amazing woman, perfect in almost every way. But she writes letters to the kids she'll have some day and I don't want to have kids ever. I'm just not up for a relationship that is guaranteed to end poorly. We kept hanging out until she landed a job at a non-profit. She works 12 hour days 6 days a week. The time she had left she used for laundry, going to visit family, etc. We see each other on the street from time to time.
4.2) Or the park. Same basic idea. Look for a guy sitting alone. Especially if he has a parrot on his shoulder. I know that's where most guys hit on me.
5) Ask him out yourself.
"But traditionally..."
"I want the man to chase..."
"A man needs the confidence to..."
"But I'm afraid I'll get rejected."
Fuck all that. It's the 21st century. There's no more arranged marriages. You don't need someone to look after you. Tradition is just another word of "There's no good reason for it". The guys are afraid of being rejected, too, and have been ever since the first female amoeba laughed at the first male amoeba and made sure every other bit of slime in the pond laughed at him, too.
I've actually had a woman I'd never seen before walk up to me, tell me they'd never go out with me, and storm off. That was a real WTF moment.
You can drop all the hints you want, wear whatever slinky outfit you want, and flirt outrageously but the only sure way to let him know you're interested is to ask him out.
In college there was one woman who was interested in me. We saw each other around the dorms all the time and had several classes together. We were pretty friendly and she was really interested in me. But she was a flirt. She flirted with absolutely everyone. I had no way of knowing that she was actually interested until she out and told me as she was turning in her final. By the time I caught up with her the semester break was over and she had met someone else.
I was having dinner with a couple of girls I'd gone to college with. They told me the waitress was hitting on me. I didn't believe them. I mean, she's a waitress. How can you tell who is hitting on you and who is working for tips?
6) Friends.
The idea is that if you have friends in common then you're likely to have something in common, too. It doesn't always work, but it's someone you wouldn't have otherwise had contact with.
My cousin and his wife tried to hook me up with the wife's best friend. She had quite a bit going for her except she smoked and she lived in Seattle.
7) Get a better job(see 4.1)
If you have one of those jobs where you work 12 hour days 6 days a week your options are:
1) remain single with the occasional 1 night stand
2) date a co-worker
3) move in with someone who seems OK and hope things work. Because that's the only way you're gonna have time to see this guy.
4) get a job with better hours
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Graphic novel reviews
First I want to explain the difference between graphic novels and comic books. Comic books are those thin bundles of flexible paper that tell stories about super heroes and only cost a quarter back in the day. Graphic novels can be a storyline of 6-13 comic books all bundled together with the ads removed and a better cover. They can also be something non-super hero related. Some artists write autobiographical stories in a graphical format and sell that. Some of your favorite movies probably started out as a graphic novel that then got adapted for screen. "V for Vendetta" (the movie was better), "300", "30 Days of Night", and many others. I'm sure My Krodie can add more or enhance my limited definition.
I'm going to talk about two.
"1602" was a series of comic books written by Neil Gaiman. Gaiman's name was probably about 1/3 of why I bought it. It starts out fairly strong. It's the year 1602 and your favorite Marvel superheroes are manifesting. They don't have the silly outfits they have now, but they have the powers. X-Men, Fantastic Four, Spiderman, Capt. America, Daredevil, and Nick Fury have to face King James, the Spanish Inquisition, and figure out what strangeness is happening in Roanoke.
My biggest criticism is that instead of making this a nice stand alone story they felt the need to tie it in with the existing Marvel Universe through time travel and all that rubbish. Why can't they just let it stand on it's own?
"Pride of Baghdad" is based on a true story. During the American invasion of Baghdad four lions escaped from the zoo and got to roam free. This book tells the story from the point of view of the lions.
I'm not gonna insist you run out and buy either one. The fact that I'm discussing them at all should tell you they're better than most graphic novels I've picked up. Next time you're in the book store stroll by the graphic novel section and flip through them.
No, not the Manga section. I'm sure if Manga demonstrates the effects of radiation on a large population. It tells me we either shouldn't have nuked Japan or we should have nuked them more.
I'm going to talk about two.
"1602" was a series of comic books written by Neil Gaiman. Gaiman's name was probably about 1/3 of why I bought it. It starts out fairly strong. It's the year 1602 and your favorite Marvel superheroes are manifesting. They don't have the silly outfits they have now, but they have the powers. X-Men, Fantastic Four, Spiderman, Capt. America, Daredevil, and Nick Fury have to face King James, the Spanish Inquisition, and figure out what strangeness is happening in Roanoke.
My biggest criticism is that instead of making this a nice stand alone story they felt the need to tie it in with the existing Marvel Universe through time travel and all that rubbish. Why can't they just let it stand on it's own?
"Pride of Baghdad" is based on a true story. During the American invasion of Baghdad four lions escaped from the zoo and got to roam free. This book tells the story from the point of view of the lions.
I'm not gonna insist you run out and buy either one. The fact that I'm discussing them at all should tell you they're better than most graphic novels I've picked up. Next time you're in the book store stroll by the graphic novel section and flip through them.
No, not the Manga section. I'm sure if Manga demonstrates the effects of radiation on a large population. It tells me we either shouldn't have nuked Japan or we should have nuked them more.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Book Review: Jennifer Government
This is why Amazon will never replace bookstores and why NetFlix will never replace the video store. There's just too much good stuff that you'll never know about unless you're walking the aisles. That's how I discovered "Good Omens" (now sitting next to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) which led me to the rest of Neil Gaiman's and Terry Pratchett's work. And now I stumbled into "Jennifer Government" by Max Barry.
"Jennifer Government" tells of the world as Ron Paul would have it. No, really. Research was done by surfing libertarian websites. The United States is a free market utopia. Your last name is determined by what company you work for or what school you attend. The schools are run by corporations that require certain levels of merchandising from the students. The government doesn't have the authority to collect taxes. Their only remaining task is to prosecute criminals and they need funding from the wronged to prosecute. The US also now runs all of North and South America and has just purchased Australia.
The book opens with Hack Nike looking for a water cooler with some water. He gets talked into signing a contract without reading it. The contract drags him into Nike's latest marketing campaign. They've built a world of hype around their latest shoes. Only 200 have been released so far so their price is $2,500 a pair. They've been spreading word that the local store will have a shipment of 5 on a particular day. Which local store? All of them. And much more than 5. Hack's job is to shoot between 5 and 10 of the people buying shoes to make it look like the demand is enough that people are killing for them. This will drive up sales even more. He just has to make sure to shoot some of the poorer people so their parents can't afford to prosecute.
Hack subcontracts to the police who subcontract to the NRA. The NRA is now the biggest baddest group of mercenaries you've ever heard of. They're an Army for hire.
Jennifer Government has a history with John Nike, the mind behind this marketing campaign. She is also investigating the Nike shootings.
This is just the start of the story. Some books you have trouble telling the characters apart, but not with this one. This one has a healthy cast of characters who all come into contact with each other to form a chaotic network of relations. The story escalates from a comedic marketing campaign to an all out war between two massive corporate partnership that climaxes in an exchange of heavy artillery between a McDonalds and a Burger King complete with missile launchers and truck mounted chain guns.
There's no message to this book. No more than what you give it. It's just a good corporate comedy.
But don't take my word for it. If you see this book in the bookstore pick it up and read the first two pages. If you're not sold by then just put it down. I'm pretty sure that you'll want a copy.
The movie is due out in 2010.
"Jennifer Government" tells of the world as Ron Paul would have it. No, really. Research was done by surfing libertarian websites. The United States is a free market utopia. Your last name is determined by what company you work for or what school you attend. The schools are run by corporations that require certain levels of merchandising from the students. The government doesn't have the authority to collect taxes. Their only remaining task is to prosecute criminals and they need funding from the wronged to prosecute. The US also now runs all of North and South America and has just purchased Australia.
The book opens with Hack Nike looking for a water cooler with some water. He gets talked into signing a contract without reading it. The contract drags him into Nike's latest marketing campaign. They've built a world of hype around their latest shoes. Only 200 have been released so far so their price is $2,500 a pair. They've been spreading word that the local store will have a shipment of 5 on a particular day. Which local store? All of them. And much more than 5. Hack's job is to shoot between 5 and 10 of the people buying shoes to make it look like the demand is enough that people are killing for them. This will drive up sales even more. He just has to make sure to shoot some of the poorer people so their parents can't afford to prosecute.
Hack subcontracts to the police who subcontract to the NRA. The NRA is now the biggest baddest group of mercenaries you've ever heard of. They're an Army for hire.
Jennifer Government has a history with John Nike, the mind behind this marketing campaign. She is also investigating the Nike shootings.
This is just the start of the story. Some books you have trouble telling the characters apart, but not with this one. This one has a healthy cast of characters who all come into contact with each other to form a chaotic network of relations. The story escalates from a comedic marketing campaign to an all out war between two massive corporate partnership that climaxes in an exchange of heavy artillery between a McDonalds and a Burger King complete with missile launchers and truck mounted chain guns.
There's no message to this book. No more than what you give it. It's just a good corporate comedy.
But don't take my word for it. If you see this book in the bookstore pick it up and read the first two pages. If you're not sold by then just put it down. I'm pretty sure that you'll want a copy.
The movie is due out in 2010.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Coming in from the cold
I got another company to squeeze me in this morning. I zipped home, let the guy in, and gave him the run down. His conclusions pretty much matched up with mine. He hit all the reset switches I did and they all seemed to be in place.
See, all the limit switches are in series so if one blows you only know that one went down, not which one. One end plugs into the controller for the gas flow while the other plugs into another board along with several other wires. I considered this but gave it a pass for some reason. See all those wires go into one big plug. He detached that plug and plugged it back in place. It caused some related limit switch on the board to reset and everything came back on.
He charged me $70 which was their basic "yep, it's broke" fee. Or as the joke goes "the $70 ain't for flipping the switch. The $70 is for knowing which switch to flip."
Anyway, we're pretty sure the problem was initially caused by a clogged air filter. All the dust I've kicked up clogged it faster than normal. Plus I got a good filter. The filter that was there when I moved in could be smacked against a wall and replaced every few months. Even clogged it didn't really stop the air. So, it's a Home Depot trip tomorrow.
See, all the limit switches are in series so if one blows you only know that one went down, not which one. One end plugs into the controller for the gas flow while the other plugs into another board along with several other wires. I considered this but gave it a pass for some reason. See all those wires go into one big plug. He detached that plug and plugged it back in place. It caused some related limit switch on the board to reset and everything came back on.
He charged me $70 which was their basic "yep, it's broke" fee. Or as the joke goes "the $70 ain't for flipping the switch. The $70 is for knowing which switch to flip."
Anyway, we're pretty sure the problem was initially caused by a clogged air filter. All the dust I've kicked up clogged it faster than normal. Plus I got a good filter. The filter that was there when I moved in could be smacked against a wall and replaced every few months. Even clogged it didn't really stop the air. So, it's a Home Depot trip tomorrow.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Cold
A few hours ago I was walking through the kitchen and felt a cold draft. The furnace was blowing cold air. Upon investigation I found that the blower was going like mad but the gas wasn't on and the electric ignition wasn't even trying. I removed the filter, played with the thermostat, checked the gas in the house, toggled some switches, noticed a red status LED blinking in patterns of four, and threw the breakers a few times. Once I ripped the furnace open far enough I finally found a brand name to feed Google.
Google gave me one other reference to a similar problem. Four blinks means the limit circuit is open. This means that one of four switches must have been thrown. Of course none of them were. After talking to a guy in California, since all the furnace repairmen in the more local time zones had closed, I got my multimeter and checked to see that the switches were still good. They were. So just for giggles I shorted past all the switches with an LED. It lit up. I threw the breaker just for fun. The status light continued it's blinking. Blowing, no heat.
9:00 pm and the indoor temperature was down to 58°F and 30°F outside. It's supposed to get down to 23°F out there. I fobbed off the parrot on a neighbor since she can't cope with the cold as well as I can.
But that's the question. How do I plan to cope? I was gonna pop a pizza in the oven but I'm out. I tried to order a pizza but yet another pizza place has stopped delivering to this area. I'll try boiling something up later. Eventually I'll have to retreat back to the attic since it's the highest and will stay the warmest the longest. Do I stay awake and try to keep warm or hunker down and cocoon myself?
Tomorrow I'll call a repairman and probably have to take a half day. So long as the pipes don't burst first.
The next morning...
Luckily the temperature didn't drop below 50°F indoors last night. Only 10° below where I kept the house at the beginning of the winter. I coped by wrapping myself up in five layers of the warmest blankets I could find. Dad suggested electric blankets. The controls for them showed up a few days ago but the blankets themselves are still in the steamer trunk which I probably won't get to unearth for another couple of weeks.
I just got off the phone with some furnace techs. They were impressed with how much I was able to tell them about the problem. As well they should be I think. They're gonna call me back to tell me when, and if, someone can come by today.
Google gave me one other reference to a similar problem. Four blinks means the limit circuit is open. This means that one of four switches must have been thrown. Of course none of them were. After talking to a guy in California, since all the furnace repairmen in the more local time zones had closed, I got my multimeter and checked to see that the switches were still good. They were. So just for giggles I shorted past all the switches with an LED. It lit up. I threw the breaker just for fun. The status light continued it's blinking. Blowing, no heat.
9:00 pm and the indoor temperature was down to 58°F and 30°F outside. It's supposed to get down to 23°F out there. I fobbed off the parrot on a neighbor since she can't cope with the cold as well as I can.
But that's the question. How do I plan to cope? I was gonna pop a pizza in the oven but I'm out. I tried to order a pizza but yet another pizza place has stopped delivering to this area. I'll try boiling something up later. Eventually I'll have to retreat back to the attic since it's the highest and will stay the warmest the longest. Do I stay awake and try to keep warm or hunker down and cocoon myself?
Tomorrow I'll call a repairman and probably have to take a half day. So long as the pipes don't burst first.
The next morning...
Luckily the temperature didn't drop below 50°F indoors last night. Only 10° below where I kept the house at the beginning of the winter. I coped by wrapping myself up in five layers of the warmest blankets I could find. Dad suggested electric blankets. The controls for them showed up a few days ago but the blankets themselves are still in the steamer trunk which I probably won't get to unearth for another couple of weeks.
I just got off the phone with some furnace techs. They were impressed with how much I was able to tell them about the problem. As well they should be I think. They're gonna call me back to tell me when, and if, someone can come by today.
Further progress
With the hole cut and the ladder installed (see yesterday) I started moving stuff into the attic. I started with my computer museum.
Pictured here are 15 bits of the museum. I have all together 23 computers.
The Epson in the upper right is my first computer. It's a 1983 model with an 8086 processor. I think my Dad's watch has a more powerful processor. It dates back to before hard drives. And yes, it still works.
Below it is a database server from my last job. Below that is a Mac that I found on the sidewalk here in DC. I fixed it up for a neighbor kid to use. To the left is a kit I got from Tiger Direct. Nothing special about it. To the left and at the bottom is a Gateway 2000. It's only significance is that it was such a major product in it's time. Above that is a Mac LC that I got at a university auction. It mostly fills a slot in the timeline. Above that is another DB server from my last job. Then there's the remains of my second Epson. I know it looks empty but all those parts are still around. I just don't have the same attachment to it. To the left is some tower that I used to use. I think it replaced the Tiger and was what I used when I moved to DC. Next to that is a 486 that I use mostly for playing old games. To the left of that is one of those rare machines from the brief period when Apple allowed other companies to make compatible machines. To the left of that is another timeline placeholder. In the upper left corner are three Mac SEs from the early days of Macs.
I've also got an Apple ][, a Mac Performa I used in college, another tower for playing old games that my cousin recently left me, a couple of ill laptops, a first generation iMac, my main computer, ... that's 21 ... there's the G3 that Avery is using... that's 22... I'm missing one... There was one that I gutted and turned into a kitty litter box as a wedding gift but that's not the one I'm thinking of. Man, that's gonna bother me all day.
Also, in the far right of the picture you can see a bit of blanket poking into the scene. That's because once I had that floor down I started sleeping up there since it was warmer than the couch on the first floor. Last night I finally got enough computers and electronic components (and comic books) moved into the attic that I had room to take the bed away from it's place against the bedroom wall. I used the wet-dry vac to clean the whole room 2" at a time and put down the bed. This is the first time I've slept in it since June 30... 2006.
The attic is sufficiently climate controlled that I'm not worried about the heat and humidity damaging the stuff I'm cramming up there. But just in case I will be monitoring the temperature up there this summer.
Pictured here are 15 bits of the museum. I have all together 23 computers. The Epson in the upper right is my first computer. It's a 1983 model with an 8086 processor. I think my Dad's watch has a more powerful processor. It dates back to before hard drives. And yes, it still works.
Below it is a database server from my last job. Below that is a Mac that I found on the sidewalk here in DC. I fixed it up for a neighbor kid to use. To the left is a kit I got from Tiger Direct. Nothing special about it. To the left and at the bottom is a Gateway 2000. It's only significance is that it was such a major product in it's time. Above that is a Mac LC that I got at a university auction. It mostly fills a slot in the timeline. Above that is another DB server from my last job. Then there's the remains of my second Epson. I know it looks empty but all those parts are still around. I just don't have the same attachment to it. To the left is some tower that I used to use. I think it replaced the Tiger and was what I used when I moved to DC. Next to that is a 486 that I use mostly for playing old games. To the left of that is one of those rare machines from the brief period when Apple allowed other companies to make compatible machines. To the left of that is another timeline placeholder. In the upper left corner are three Mac SEs from the early days of Macs.
I've also got an Apple ][, a Mac Performa I used in college, another tower for playing old games that my cousin recently left me, a couple of ill laptops, a first generation iMac, my main computer, ... that's 21 ... there's the G3 that Avery is using... that's 22... I'm missing one... There was one that I gutted and turned into a kitty litter box as a wedding gift but that's not the one I'm thinking of. Man, that's gonna bother me all day.
Also, in the far right of the picture you can see a bit of blanket poking into the scene. That's because once I had that floor down I started sleeping up there since it was warmer than the couch on the first floor. Last night I finally got enough computers and electronic components (and comic books) moved into the attic that I had room to take the bed away from it's place against the bedroom wall. I used the wet-dry vac to clean the whole room 2" at a time and put down the bed. This is the first time I've slept in it since June 30... 2006.
The attic is sufficiently climate controlled that I'm not worried about the heat and humidity damaging the stuff I'm cramming up there. But just in case I will be monitoring the temperature up there this summer.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Attic hatch pics
You've seen the great shot of me working in my attic from a few weeks back. Now there's more pictures.
This is the hole I was cutting in that picture.
This is why I was cutting the hole. Yes, the joists have all been properly reinforced.
This is the hole I was cutting in that picture.
This is why I was cutting the hole. Yes, the joists have all been properly reinforced.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Museum Review: National Geographic Frogs
The National Geographic building has a pretty slick setup.
There's several TVs setup along the glass windows and external speakers so you can sit outside and watch the National Geographic Channel.
Between the TVs are displays of various artifacts from National Geographic expeditions.
There are several stands around the outside for the first display you see as you approach. Currently they talk about the albatross. (Note: the word "albatross" must be said in your best John Cleese voice)
On either side of the courtyard there's a museum. The smaller one, to the left, has a life size replica of a Nigersaurus skeleton and information about it and it's recovery.
It's the larger of the two museums I want to talk about today. They've converted almost the whole area to an exhibit on frogs. I went there expecting a collection of dead frogs pinned to something and a lot of pictures. Or maybe some displays full of hiding frogs. This isn't what I got at all.
First, there was a crowd like I've never seen at the National Geographic before. People of all ages, too. Senior citizens, twenty-somethings on a date, lots of people there with their kids, and a bunch of people practicing their "nature" photography.
In the main display area there are twenty or so display cases decorated to recreate the frogs' natural habitats. But what you get here that you don't get in the zoo or PetSmart is the ability to see the frogs. Normally the frogs blend into their artificial habitat well enough that you have trouble knowing which displays are empty and which ones are just hiding well. Not here. While the habitats are good they have also been made so that the frogs are generally easy to find. Or if some have found a hiding spot there's enough frogs in that container so that you can find at least one with some ease.
Besides the frogs there's an exhibit where you perform an autopsy... er, dissection. Whatever. There's videos on how they eat, recordings of how they sound, and a long jump area to see how far you jump relative to a frog. There's a display showing the blow darts and guns used by tribes that use frog venoms in their darts.
Then you move into the photo gallery. That guy has one doozy of a camera.
Totally worth it. One of National Geographic's better exhibits. They need to do more living creature exhibits.
There's several TVs setup along the glass windows and external speakers so you can sit outside and watch the National Geographic Channel.
Between the TVs are displays of various artifacts from National Geographic expeditions.
There are several stands around the outside for the first display you see as you approach. Currently they talk about the albatross. (Note: the word "albatross" must be said in your best John Cleese voice)
On either side of the courtyard there's a museum. The smaller one, to the left, has a life size replica of a Nigersaurus skeleton and information about it and it's recovery.
It's the larger of the two museums I want to talk about today. They've converted almost the whole area to an exhibit on frogs. I went there expecting a collection of dead frogs pinned to something and a lot of pictures. Or maybe some displays full of hiding frogs. This isn't what I got at all.
First, there was a crowd like I've never seen at the National Geographic before. People of all ages, too. Senior citizens, twenty-somethings on a date, lots of people there with their kids, and a bunch of people practicing their "nature" photography.
In the main display area there are twenty or so display cases decorated to recreate the frogs' natural habitats. But what you get here that you don't get in the zoo or PetSmart is the ability to see the frogs. Normally the frogs blend into their artificial habitat well enough that you have trouble knowing which displays are empty and which ones are just hiding well. Not here. While the habitats are good they have also been made so that the frogs are generally easy to find. Or if some have found a hiding spot there's enough frogs in that container so that you can find at least one with some ease.
Besides the frogs there's an exhibit where you perform an autopsy... er, dissection. Whatever. There's videos on how they eat, recordings of how they sound, and a long jump area to see how far you jump relative to a frog. There's a display showing the blow darts and guns used by tribes that use frog venoms in their darts.
Then you move into the photo gallery. That guy has one doozy of a camera.
Totally worth it. One of National Geographic's better exhibits. They need to do more living creature exhibits.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Book Review: Quantico
I got this book for Dad when Greg Bear was in town last summer. Alas, in the confusion I didn't get the signature made out to Dad.
Before I get into the book let me remind you why Greg was in town. Greg Bear is one of the bigger names in hard science fiction today. He's got the PhDs and all that good stuff. His technology is credible. So when the Department of Homeland Security's technology division wanted some science fiction authors to come in and tell them what they might be missing and what they should be developing Greg Bear made the list. And since he was in town Reiters bookstore had him sign some books.
"Quantico" takes place in the near future. Not long from now 9-11 has a sequel on 10-4. Security and terrorism becomes the focus of just about everyone everywhere. Anti-terrorist tech makes some great leaps. But since they're having trouble fighting the terrorists and cut a few corners legal-wise the FBI is fighting for it's life.
A truckload of empty cartridges for obsolete inkjet printers is found overturned along a highway next to a dead cop.
A fanatical uber-christian terrorist and his family are discovered in their back woods cabin and monitored by the FBI.
The guy responsible for the anthrax mailings turns out to be a mad social recluse living at a deserted vineyard. He's now working on a version of anthrax that kills only Jews and glows green and red in the late stages. He's doing this at the motivation of a man with eyes two different colors.
Some people from Quantico are investigating the first two which may lead them to the third.
The book starts kinda slow. Lots of descriptions intermixed with more interesting conversation. But after page 50 things start to pick up. There's raids, powerful and creative explosives, interesting and feasible anti-terrorist tech, black-ops organizations, and all mixed in with an agency quickly going under.
There's a lot that I'm not telling you. That's only because much of the fun in the book is the story unfolding bit by bit.
This book is for the person who watches CSI, The Unit, and similar investigative shows. Not really my thing but I really did get the book for Dad.
I'm still gonna recommend the author Greg Bear if not this specific book. He's a good writer who can present most subjects in an interesting manner.
Before I get into the book let me remind you why Greg was in town. Greg Bear is one of the bigger names in hard science fiction today. He's got the PhDs and all that good stuff. His technology is credible. So when the Department of Homeland Security's technology division wanted some science fiction authors to come in and tell them what they might be missing and what they should be developing Greg Bear made the list. And since he was in town Reiters bookstore had him sign some books.
"Quantico" takes place in the near future. Not long from now 9-11 has a sequel on 10-4. Security and terrorism becomes the focus of just about everyone everywhere. Anti-terrorist tech makes some great leaps. But since they're having trouble fighting the terrorists and cut a few corners legal-wise the FBI is fighting for it's life.
A truckload of empty cartridges for obsolete inkjet printers is found overturned along a highway next to a dead cop.
A fanatical uber-christian terrorist and his family are discovered in their back woods cabin and monitored by the FBI.
The guy responsible for the anthrax mailings turns out to be a mad social recluse living at a deserted vineyard. He's now working on a version of anthrax that kills only Jews and glows green and red in the late stages. He's doing this at the motivation of a man with eyes two different colors.
Some people from Quantico are investigating the first two which may lead them to the third.
The book starts kinda slow. Lots of descriptions intermixed with more interesting conversation. But after page 50 things start to pick up. There's raids, powerful and creative explosives, interesting and feasible anti-terrorist tech, black-ops organizations, and all mixed in with an agency quickly going under.
There's a lot that I'm not telling you. That's only because much of the fun in the book is the story unfolding bit by bit.
This book is for the person who watches CSI, The Unit, and similar investigative shows. Not really my thing but I really did get the book for Dad.
I'm still gonna recommend the author Greg Bear if not this specific book. He's a good writer who can present most subjects in an interesting manner.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Movie Review: Vantage Point
There's good things and bad things about being a professional movie reviewer. Sure, you get to see all the movies for free before anyone else sees them. On the down side you are forced to watch every awful piece of crap that comes along. Luckily for me I'm not at all professional and get to skip the stuff that you can tell is crap before you ever step into the theater. So after a long spell where only really gawdawful movies were available to me for free I finally get to see decent stuff again.
"Vantage Point" feels like part "Lost" and part "24".
Some years ago I thought it would be cool to make a TV show that covered a story one hour at a time. One season would be one day. I wasn't the only person with that idea. Somebody else came up with an idea for what kind of story would work in that format. That person made the show "24".
Another idea I had, one that's been used in several TV shows for decades, is to tell a story from several viewpoints. "Vantage Point" is that movie. It tells the story of terrorists attacking the President at an international peace conference. So the movie has a storyline much like a season of "24".
The movie opens in the press trailer of GNN. Sigourney Weaver is directing the feed from six different cameramen, telling them how and where to point, and directing the reporter in the field. This first view point sets up the foundation that the rest of the movie builds on. Peace conference, not everyone thrilled, President gets shot, one set of explosions, more explosions, and then rewind to noon.
The second POV is from Dennis Quaid. He's a Secret Service agent who took a bullet for the President and is just now going back into service. Everyone is a bit worried about him.
The third POV is from suspicious character #1.
The fourth POV is from observant tourist Forest Whitaker.
The fifth POV is from the President's perspective
The sixth POV is more muddled since it's from suspicious characters #2, #3, and #4.
The seventh round really pulls things together.
Each perspective ends with a cliffhanger that gets dealt with later in the movie. The erratic time line, the plethora of cliffhangers, and the way that it keeps you trying to figure out how the next part will unfold is what makes it feel like "Lost". That much more than the inclusion of Matthew Fox who plays Jack in "Lost".
It's an entertaining movie. There's a few holes in the behavior of some characters but you overlook them because this isn't a movie for taking seriously. This is a movie for watching explosions and car chases and action ... stuff.
I won't get it on DVD. I'm glad I saw it. I'm glad I didn't pay for it.
Go with a group. Pay matinee.
"Vantage Point" feels like part "Lost" and part "24".
Some years ago I thought it would be cool to make a TV show that covered a story one hour at a time. One season would be one day. I wasn't the only person with that idea. Somebody else came up with an idea for what kind of story would work in that format. That person made the show "24".
Another idea I had, one that's been used in several TV shows for decades, is to tell a story from several viewpoints. "Vantage Point" is that movie. It tells the story of terrorists attacking the President at an international peace conference. So the movie has a storyline much like a season of "24".
The movie opens in the press trailer of GNN. Sigourney Weaver is directing the feed from six different cameramen, telling them how and where to point, and directing the reporter in the field. This first view point sets up the foundation that the rest of the movie builds on. Peace conference, not everyone thrilled, President gets shot, one set of explosions, more explosions, and then rewind to noon.
The second POV is from Dennis Quaid. He's a Secret Service agent who took a bullet for the President and is just now going back into service. Everyone is a bit worried about him.
The third POV is from suspicious character #1.
The fourth POV is from observant tourist Forest Whitaker.
The fifth POV is from the President's perspective
The sixth POV is more muddled since it's from suspicious characters #2, #3, and #4.
The seventh round really pulls things together.
Each perspective ends with a cliffhanger that gets dealt with later in the movie. The erratic time line, the plethora of cliffhangers, and the way that it keeps you trying to figure out how the next part will unfold is what makes it feel like "Lost". That much more than the inclusion of Matthew Fox who plays Jack in "Lost".
It's an entertaining movie. There's a few holes in the behavior of some characters but you overlook them because this isn't a movie for taking seriously. This is a movie for watching explosions and car chases and action ... stuff.
I won't get it on DVD. I'm glad I saw it. I'm glad I didn't pay for it.
Go with a group. Pay matinee.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Museum Review: The Cinema Effect - part 1
Just opened at the Hirshhorn Museum: The Cinema Effect. It's supposed to explore our relationship with video and how if shapes our perception of reality and dreams and other words that make you think art.
The exhibit is a series of videos. Not short films such as you could get off YouTube. This is "art" which means "really kinda messed up". You go through curtains, which are backlit orange, and enter a dark room. Once your eyes adjust you go through a series of dark rooms showing different videos.
It starts with simple stuff such as Andy Warhol's "Sleep". "Sleep" was originally 5 hours and change of Andy sleeping. It's been cut to only 2 hours for this exhibit.
Other exhibits include:
what appears to be several minutes of random stock footage stuck together,
a train going through a series of tunnels with some narration while not in a tunnel,
what looks like every Sega Genesis landscape stuck together and scrolling down so it looks like you keep rising up and up,
bits of star falling into a lake,
a projection of geometric shapes going through a misty room (apparently one of the favorites),
a ride through an amusement park haunted house shown at half speed,
a doll with an egg shaped head and the face of a film director projected on it while he gives direction,
a line of video screens that are mostly dark except for the video that keeps running back and forth along them scattering human body parts,
a line of video screens showing footage of factory workers going home over 9 decades,
and many others
I was in a hurry so I blew through in about 40 minutes. I'd suggest you give yourself more time. Two hours should do. Three tops. I'll probably go back some other weekend.
The exhibit will last until May 11. Then they tear it down and start setting up part two which opens on June 19.
Also, the Newseum is nearing finished. The building looks awesome. You can start booking space in the Newseum Residences. The museum itself opens April 11.
The exhibit is a series of videos. Not short films such as you could get off YouTube. This is "art" which means "really kinda messed up". You go through curtains, which are backlit orange, and enter a dark room. Once your eyes adjust you go through a series of dark rooms showing different videos.
It starts with simple stuff such as Andy Warhol's "Sleep". "Sleep" was originally 5 hours and change of Andy sleeping. It's been cut to only 2 hours for this exhibit.
Other exhibits include:
what appears to be several minutes of random stock footage stuck together,
a train going through a series of tunnels with some narration while not in a tunnel,
what looks like every Sega Genesis landscape stuck together and scrolling down so it looks like you keep rising up and up,
bits of star falling into a lake,
a projection of geometric shapes going through a misty room (apparently one of the favorites),
a ride through an amusement park haunted house shown at half speed,
a doll with an egg shaped head and the face of a film director projected on it while he gives direction,
a line of video screens that are mostly dark except for the video that keeps running back and forth along them scattering human body parts,
a line of video screens showing footage of factory workers going home over 9 decades,
and many others
I was in a hurry so I blew through in about 40 minutes. I'd suggest you give yourself more time. Two hours should do. Three tops. I'll probably go back some other weekend.
The exhibit will last until May 11. Then they tear it down and start setting up part two which opens on June 19.
Also, the Newseum is nearing finished. The building looks awesome. You can start booking space in the Newseum Residences. The museum itself opens April 11.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Movie Review: Diary of the Dead
George Romero is back and making movies again. He vanished for about 15 years. (This number includes a couple of movies you've never heard of so they don't count.) Romero is the guy who came up with what most people think of when they think zombie. As a film student he made "Night of the Living Dead" and neglected to copyright the shambling brain eating zombie. He'd probably be a billionaire by now if he'd claimed right to that. On the other hand he used that idea because he was a poor film student with no budget. By not copyrighting it he made it a gift to hundreds of other poor film students with no budget.
His latest movie is "Diary of the Dead". Much like "Casino Royale" it's a prequel to other movies in the series but somehow takes place after the other movies. So I'm ignoring the rest of the Romero's zombie flicks when discussing this.
This movie has a message. Not "watch out for commies" like some of the early work. This is more a commentary on film makers and their behavior in situations like New Orleans after Katrina or, more pointedly, their behavior in war zones like Iraq and Afghanistan. They hide behind the camera and the detachment, real or imagined, it provides from the horrors around them. They become more interested in capturing everything than anything else.
The movie is supposed to be a documentary chronicalling the rise of the undead using mostly their own footage but mixed with footage pulled from YouTube and the rest of the internet. It opens with uncut footage uploaded by a news cameraman who disliked how the press cut it up to change what happened. What they were there to cover was a three person murder/suicide. What they got was the dead rising from the stretcher as it was being taken to the ambulance. A voice over helps explain what the project is.
The movie then cuts to a bunch of film students in the woods trying to make a mummy movie. They hear on the radio about the dead rising and decide to call it a night. Upon returning to campus they decide to load up the Winnebago and try to get home as a group.
The movie is like "Cloverfield" but with people who know how to work a camera. It tries to capture some of the human element that the original movie had. It doesn't explore the ravished countryside like "28 Days Later" did but it does chronicle their trip and the people they meet or run over along the way.
"Diary of the Dead" is a good supplement to the other Romero zombie flicks but it doesn't have the gore that they do. It's "Shawn of the Dead" only without the humor or the happy ending.
I apparently see more good in the movie than many other reviewers. I'll go see the sequel but I won't get it on DVD.
His latest movie is "Diary of the Dead". Much like "Casino Royale" it's a prequel to other movies in the series but somehow takes place after the other movies. So I'm ignoring the rest of the Romero's zombie flicks when discussing this.
This movie has a message. Not "watch out for commies" like some of the early work. This is more a commentary on film makers and their behavior in situations like New Orleans after Katrina or, more pointedly, their behavior in war zones like Iraq and Afghanistan. They hide behind the camera and the detachment, real or imagined, it provides from the horrors around them. They become more interested in capturing everything than anything else.
The movie is supposed to be a documentary chronicalling the rise of the undead using mostly their own footage but mixed with footage pulled from YouTube and the rest of the internet. It opens with uncut footage uploaded by a news cameraman who disliked how the press cut it up to change what happened. What they were there to cover was a three person murder/suicide. What they got was the dead rising from the stretcher as it was being taken to the ambulance. A voice over helps explain what the project is.
The movie then cuts to a bunch of film students in the woods trying to make a mummy movie. They hear on the radio about the dead rising and decide to call it a night. Upon returning to campus they decide to load up the Winnebago and try to get home as a group.
The movie is like "Cloverfield" but with people who know how to work a camera. It tries to capture some of the human element that the original movie had. It doesn't explore the ravished countryside like "28 Days Later" did but it does chronicle their trip and the people they meet or run over along the way.
"Diary of the Dead" is a good supplement to the other Romero zombie flicks but it doesn't have the gore that they do. It's "Shawn of the Dead" only without the humor or the happy ending.
I apparently see more good in the movie than many other reviewers. I'll go see the sequel but I won't get it on DVD.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Movie Review: The Spiderwick Chronicles
I haven't read the book so I can't compare to the movie. If I were to guess I'd say this book was written in the 40's in England. It has the same feel as many of the children's books written back then but updated for today.
In this movie a woman and her three kids move to a large house out in the country. She's recently divorced and can't afford their old place on just her salary. While exploring the big spooky house the surliest of the kids finds a book with a warning not to open or read it that he promptly ignores. Almost immediately unseen creatures described in the book start messing with the family. In fact pretty much everything that goes wrong in the movie is the direct result of that kid being a real idiot who can never follow sound advice.
As usual there's good invisible creatures and evil invisible creatures. The evil ones want the book's secrets so they can conquer the world.
It's a well done, richly populated fantasy story akin to "The Neverending Story". I rather preferred this movie to "The Neverending Story". It doesn't feel crammed to fit like so many movies in this genre do. But even so I probably won't get it on DVD. I dunno why. Go see it.
In this movie a woman and her three kids move to a large house out in the country. She's recently divorced and can't afford their old place on just her salary. While exploring the big spooky house the surliest of the kids finds a book with a warning not to open or read it that he promptly ignores. Almost immediately unseen creatures described in the book start messing with the family. In fact pretty much everything that goes wrong in the movie is the direct result of that kid being a real idiot who can never follow sound advice.
As usual there's good invisible creatures and evil invisible creatures. The evil ones want the book's secrets so they can conquer the world.
It's a well done, richly populated fantasy story akin to "The Neverending Story". I rather preferred this movie to "The Neverending Story". It doesn't feel crammed to fit like so many movies in this genre do. But even so I probably won't get it on DVD. I dunno why. Go see it.
Friday, February 15, 2008
X-Minus One
I got the complete collection of old "X-Minus One" radio shows. If you don't know them they're half hour productions based on the short stories by some of the greats sci-fi authors of the day. Robert Heinlein and Ray Bradbury are some of the more common sources. I've read most of the original short stories from both authors. Something occurred to me awhile back, but the tedium of my job has allowed me to work it out a bit more.
When Isaac Asimov wrote about space travel he'd send out the best and the smartest. His universe is full of lightly colonized planets with some of the best educated humans and tons of robots. Most of Earth's brightest have been lost to the stars while the poor, the uneducated, and miserable are stuck on the home world. That leaves a planet crowded with the people most likely to have more kids while those least likely to have a bunch of kids are out on empty planets. Earth has few robots because the humans need the work. Despite having more people the people on Earth are pretty much stuck since the brain drain has allowed all the people who could develop advanced weapons and fighters to live elsewhere.
OK, that was a bit more than needed for my original point. The so-called best and brightest are on the ships. Space travel is expensive so they want the best trained to get the most for their money.
Heinlein was in the Navy until some lung condition forced him out. He views starships more like Navy vessels. They're crewed largely with people you're more likely to find in a bar than in a lab. Crude, loud mouthed, and handy with a wrench. The planets have people who are indentured servants. People you're likely to see working the fields or the mines on modern Earth. Hopefully when you've finished your contract you have enough money left to pay your way home or else you have to sign on for another contract.
Gene Roddenbury's universe (Star Trek and Next Generation) was more like Asimov's not because only the smartest got to move away but because he made everyone the smartest. The education system worked, the government was benign, and they'd achieved the perfect balance of capitalism and socialism to see that everyone had the chance to be something great.
I'm not sure what my point is other than to notice that difference between these different visions of the future.
What's your vision?
When Isaac Asimov wrote about space travel he'd send out the best and the smartest. His universe is full of lightly colonized planets with some of the best educated humans and tons of robots. Most of Earth's brightest have been lost to the stars while the poor, the uneducated, and miserable are stuck on the home world. That leaves a planet crowded with the people most likely to have more kids while those least likely to have a bunch of kids are out on empty planets. Earth has few robots because the humans need the work. Despite having more people the people on Earth are pretty much stuck since the brain drain has allowed all the people who could develop advanced weapons and fighters to live elsewhere.
OK, that was a bit more than needed for my original point. The so-called best and brightest are on the ships. Space travel is expensive so they want the best trained to get the most for their money.
Heinlein was in the Navy until some lung condition forced him out. He views starships more like Navy vessels. They're crewed largely with people you're more likely to find in a bar than in a lab. Crude, loud mouthed, and handy with a wrench. The planets have people who are indentured servants. People you're likely to see working the fields or the mines on modern Earth. Hopefully when you've finished your contract you have enough money left to pay your way home or else you have to sign on for another contract.
Gene Roddenbury's universe (Star Trek and Next Generation) was more like Asimov's not because only the smartest got to move away but because he made everyone the smartest. The education system worked, the government was benign, and they'd achieved the perfect balance of capitalism and socialism to see that everyone had the chance to be something great.
I'm not sure what my point is other than to notice that difference between these different visions of the future.
What's your vision?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
A eulogy
An old classmate of mine recently died. We were in school together K through 12. It's just as well I wasn't at his funeral. They wouldn't have liked what I had to say.
He was a bully. Not one of the alpha bullies. Not one of the huge, mindless, violence machines that littered my class. No, this guy was one of the followers. He was a Crabbe or a Goyle to a couple of very large and dangerous Malfoys. But still, if he went to Columbine instead of Clearwater he would have made the "must shoot" list of the guys in trench coats.
Less than a week after graduation he was out partying with several other people at Lake Afton. He dove in, hit his head on a log, and was left paralyzed from the neck down from then on. Rumor has it that he regained some motion in his fingers, but he spent the rest of his life like that. This was the first of a series of incidents that left many of the brutes from my class dead.
I'm told that he managed to start his own stock trading company. How well he was doing I don't know. It's better than I'd have expected from him. I imagine that being a quadriplegic limits your options enough that he was forced to work in directions that he otherwise would never have gone.
It's been 15 years since I've seen him. I'd like to think that in that time he became a better person. Maybe the chair altered his attitude in the same way it altered his career path. Maybe he used the extra years so many of his friends didn't have to change his ways. It could happen. My cousin married a bully who smacked around her brother for years. Her husband seems to have reformed but he can still be heard bragging about some of the mistreatment he heaped upon others back in the day.
I know the man in that coffin is not the same person who sat a few rows behind me at graduation. Only his family can really speculate about how much he changed.
He was a bully. Not one of the alpha bullies. Not one of the huge, mindless, violence machines that littered my class. No, this guy was one of the followers. He was a Crabbe or a Goyle to a couple of very large and dangerous Malfoys. But still, if he went to Columbine instead of Clearwater he would have made the "must shoot" list of the guys in trench coats.
Less than a week after graduation he was out partying with several other people at Lake Afton. He dove in, hit his head on a log, and was left paralyzed from the neck down from then on. Rumor has it that he regained some motion in his fingers, but he spent the rest of his life like that. This was the first of a series of incidents that left many of the brutes from my class dead.
I'm told that he managed to start his own stock trading company. How well he was doing I don't know. It's better than I'd have expected from him. I imagine that being a quadriplegic limits your options enough that he was forced to work in directions that he otherwise would never have gone.
It's been 15 years since I've seen him. I'd like to think that in that time he became a better person. Maybe the chair altered his attitude in the same way it altered his career path. Maybe he used the extra years so many of his friends didn't have to change his ways. It could happen. My cousin married a bully who smacked around her brother for years. Her husband seems to have reformed but he can still be heard bragging about some of the mistreatment he heaped upon others back in the day.
I know the man in that coffin is not the same person who sat a few rows behind me at graduation. Only his family can really speculate about how much he changed.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
The chicken and the egg
Happy Valenteen. I hope you didn't shave or apply make-up.
I've known for several years now the answer to the question to which came first, the chicken or the egg. What I've just realized is that the answer is one which can come back into question when dealing with the theocratically minded.
A Dougintologist believes that the egg came first. As one species becomes another through the gradual process of evolution there must at one point have been a creature that was almost but not quite a chicken. This creature, the chucken, laid an egg expecting another chucken to come out. Instead a slightly different creature came out. That creature and it's offspring would eventually become the creature we now know as lunch.
A Biblical literalist would claim that between five and six thousand years ago the first rooster and the first chicken popped into existence in some oasis in Algeria or possibly Morocco. A couple of days later some naked guy came along and called them chicken.
The Social Constructionists would claim there was neither chicken nor egg until scientists said there was.
I've known for several years now the answer to the question to which came first, the chicken or the egg. What I've just realized is that the answer is one which can come back into question when dealing with the theocratically minded.
A Dougintologist believes that the egg came first. As one species becomes another through the gradual process of evolution there must at one point have been a creature that was almost but not quite a chicken. This creature, the chucken, laid an egg expecting another chucken to come out. Instead a slightly different creature came out. That creature and it's offspring would eventually become the creature we now know as lunch.
A Biblical literalist would claim that between five and six thousand years ago the first rooster and the first chicken popped into existence in some oasis in Algeria or possibly Morocco. A couple of days later some naked guy came along and called them chicken.
The Social Constructionists would claim there was neither chicken nor egg until scientists said there was.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Movie Review: Futurama: Bender's Big Score
From Matt Groening, the guy who brought you the comic strip "Life in Hell" and "The Simpsons" came sci-fi comedy "Futurama". It was a popular show while it lasted and when it could be seen. But the schmucks at Fox shoved it into the 7:00pm (6:00 central) time slot. This meant that it ran an hour before standard prime-time shows. This was rough on ratings but the show muscled on thanks to die hard fans. The second problem with this time slot was that sporting events frequently pre-empted the show. The only people who got to see the show were on the west coast. The rest of the country had no idea if the show was going to air at all. This successfully killed off the show.
Jump forward a couple of years. Those head Fox schmucks are gone now. The turnover rate for people in the position of head schmuck is ridiculous. I'd lay odds that those were the same bastards who canceled "Firefly". Anyway, they're gone now and the new head schmucks recognize they had a good thing. Partially because the DVD sales are great, ratings for the reruns on Comedy Central are high, and Comedy Central was talking about commissioning new episodes. So they start talking about bringing it back. What they have instead are a series of movies that can easily be broken into episodes.
The first movie is "Futurama: Bender's Big Score". Why I didn't buy it myself I don't know. I'll buy the next three.
"Bender's Big Score" is very self referential. I think they make reference to almost every previous Futurama episode and bring back nearly every character who has ever appeared. Big fan service episode. Really, that's who is gonna be watching this.
Time travel is a major factor in this episode. They tell you early on that it's gonna get confusing and they're not kidding. Some time travel shows are confusing because of their use of grandfather paradox or predestination paradox. This show says screw all that and works cause the universe to collapse every couple of minutes. The episode is littered with duplicate people who the universe has to destroy in horrible and inventive ways.
Quick summary: They open by mocking the people who canceled the show. Then they get conned by spammers who take the crew for everything and then start using Bender to pillage history. Fry returns to his own time several times and works his way back to the future.
Coming soon:
Futurama: Bender's Game
Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs
Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder
all in post-production
Jump forward a couple of years. Those head Fox schmucks are gone now. The turnover rate for people in the position of head schmuck is ridiculous. I'd lay odds that those were the same bastards who canceled "Firefly". Anyway, they're gone now and the new head schmucks recognize they had a good thing. Partially because the DVD sales are great, ratings for the reruns on Comedy Central are high, and Comedy Central was talking about commissioning new episodes. So they start talking about bringing it back. What they have instead are a series of movies that can easily be broken into episodes.
The first movie is "Futurama: Bender's Big Score". Why I didn't buy it myself I don't know. I'll buy the next three.
"Bender's Big Score" is very self referential. I think they make reference to almost every previous Futurama episode and bring back nearly every character who has ever appeared. Big fan service episode. Really, that's who is gonna be watching this.
Time travel is a major factor in this episode. They tell you early on that it's gonna get confusing and they're not kidding. Some time travel shows are confusing because of their use of grandfather paradox or predestination paradox. This show says screw all that and works cause the universe to collapse every couple of minutes. The episode is littered with duplicate people who the universe has to destroy in horrible and inventive ways.
Quick summary: They open by mocking the people who canceled the show. Then they get conned by spammers who take the crew for everything and then start using Bender to pillage history. Fry returns to his own time several times and works his way back to the future.
Coming soon:
Futurama: Bender's Game
Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs
Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder
all in post-production
Monday, February 11, 2008
It's monday
There were no good movies this weekend, I didn't quite finish the main book I'm reading, and I'd rather not dip into my reserve postings yet so... I guess you get to hear about construction.
You should have seen the picture of me working on my attic. If not just scroll down a bit.
I got the hole cut and cross beams installed. Then I needed to get the hatch and folding ladder up through the hole. It weighs about 65lbs (~30kg). I ran a extending ladder up through the hole, leaned the hatch against the ladder, and lifted. I got the hatch above my head and through the hole with about an inch to spare. But it needed to go higher. I lifted my right foot to climb the ladder and the hatch started swinging to the left. I put that foot down and tried again with the left foot first. The hatch swung to the right. I tried a few more times but without a third arm to stabilize myself better it just didn't work.
The clothesline rope I've been looking for for a year or two materialized as if by magic. I tied it on to the hatch, climbed into the attic, and started hauling. But the closer it got the harder it was to lift. I never got it high enough to grab and leave my spine intact.
I needed help. I considered the neighbor kids who are always asking to help since they're bored silly. But they're too short and probably not strong enough to lift. And even if they are they'd get squashed if I lost my grip. So I called Bruise at work and asked him stop by on the way home. He lifted, I grabbed and pulled. No sweat.
Later I sat the hatch on my shoulders and lowered it into place. I hadn't cut the hole to fit the hatch. I cut the hole to get the pieces of ceiling joist removed. So the hatch was supported by slats on one end and by a tight fit on the other. I'd also sunk some screws into the sides so if the first line of support failed there was something else to back them up. I drove what nails I could and cut the hole larger so the hatch would open.
Yesterday I opened the hatch so I could swing the hammer enough to drive the rest of the nails. The ladder comes in three pieces that are hinged. When fully unfolded the hinges should also unfold completely. Anything less and the ladder becomes unstable and more prone to breaking. But there was about a 15° gap that I had to close. Plus the legs were squared off so I needed to cut them so they'd hit the floor flat. I made an educated guess and cut. I apparently wasn't educated enough because two further cuts still didn't do the job. Finally I grabbed a slat of bamboo flooring, ran it along the middle 1/3 of the ladder and on to the floor. Then I marked it. I transfered the mark to the lower 1/3 of the ladder and cut. This cut was just above the bottom step. It seemed a ridiculous amount to cut off but it turned out to be right.
It was a thrill to be able to walk up the ladder the first time.
Then I hooked up the wet/dry vac in the attic to start getting crud out. The bedroom ceiling was built by nailing thin slats to the ceiling joists and then smooshing some cement/plaster-type substance through the gaps. So I had to move back and forth along the ceiling, reaching between joists, and running the vacuum hose up and down the slats between smooshed substance. By the time I ran the width of the house three time (15ft/pass) the wet/dry vac was full of a nasty black substance and refused to take any more. Still, it's an improvement on vacuuming up a dust so fine that it clogged the filter every 5 minutes. More of this task tonight.
The next horror will be to make the ceiling around the hatch look clean. It's all ragged and ugly at the moment.
You should have seen the picture of me working on my attic. If not just scroll down a bit.
I got the hole cut and cross beams installed. Then I needed to get the hatch and folding ladder up through the hole. It weighs about 65lbs (~30kg). I ran a extending ladder up through the hole, leaned the hatch against the ladder, and lifted. I got the hatch above my head and through the hole with about an inch to spare. But it needed to go higher. I lifted my right foot to climb the ladder and the hatch started swinging to the left. I put that foot down and tried again with the left foot first. The hatch swung to the right. I tried a few more times but without a third arm to stabilize myself better it just didn't work.
The clothesline rope I've been looking for for a year or two materialized as if by magic. I tied it on to the hatch, climbed into the attic, and started hauling. But the closer it got the harder it was to lift. I never got it high enough to grab and leave my spine intact.
I needed help. I considered the neighbor kids who are always asking to help since they're bored silly. But they're too short and probably not strong enough to lift. And even if they are they'd get squashed if I lost my grip. So I called Bruise at work and asked him stop by on the way home. He lifted, I grabbed and pulled. No sweat.
Later I sat the hatch on my shoulders and lowered it into place. I hadn't cut the hole to fit the hatch. I cut the hole to get the pieces of ceiling joist removed. So the hatch was supported by slats on one end and by a tight fit on the other. I'd also sunk some screws into the sides so if the first line of support failed there was something else to back them up. I drove what nails I could and cut the hole larger so the hatch would open.
Yesterday I opened the hatch so I could swing the hammer enough to drive the rest of the nails. The ladder comes in three pieces that are hinged. When fully unfolded the hinges should also unfold completely. Anything less and the ladder becomes unstable and more prone to breaking. But there was about a 15° gap that I had to close. Plus the legs were squared off so I needed to cut them so they'd hit the floor flat. I made an educated guess and cut. I apparently wasn't educated enough because two further cuts still didn't do the job. Finally I grabbed a slat of bamboo flooring, ran it along the middle 1/3 of the ladder and on to the floor. Then I marked it. I transfered the mark to the lower 1/3 of the ladder and cut. This cut was just above the bottom step. It seemed a ridiculous amount to cut off but it turned out to be right.
It was a thrill to be able to walk up the ladder the first time.
Then I hooked up the wet/dry vac in the attic to start getting crud out. The bedroom ceiling was built by nailing thin slats to the ceiling joists and then smooshing some cement/plaster-type substance through the gaps. So I had to move back and forth along the ceiling, reaching between joists, and running the vacuum hose up and down the slats between smooshed substance. By the time I ran the width of the house three time (15ft/pass) the wet/dry vac was full of a nasty black substance and refused to take any more. Still, it's an improvement on vacuuming up a dust so fine that it clogged the filter every 5 minutes. More of this task tonight.
The next horror will be to make the ceiling around the hatch look clean. It's all ragged and ugly at the moment.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Book review: The Subtle Knife
"The Subtle Knife" follows "The Golden Compass" in the "His Dark Materials" trilogy by Philip Pullman.
This book wasn't nearly as insulting and obviously intended for little kids as the first book. As way of review and summary I'm going to focus on the controversy of these books. Christians are very upset by these books. I'll get to why quickly.
The world of these books contains multiple dimensions or alternate worlds.
The first book focuses on something that looks a bit like England before the invention of the automobile. Each person has a being that is never far from their side their whole life. It can change shape when you're a kid but when you reach puberty it picks one shape that is indicative of your personality and stays that shape until you die. This creature, a Daemon, is basically a manifestation of your soul.
In this world the church is pretty much still in control of everything. They monitor all scientific research, make sure people obey them, and aren't above assassinating people that piss them off. They're researching a substance called Dust while making sure that nobody else researches it. They fear Dust without really knowing what it is. They know it's attracted to adults but not kids. They've found that Dust loses interest in people once they've had their Daemon's cut away. But that makes the people effectively zombies (voodoo, not braaaainnns). They find this out by experimenting on children. They've already cut away the souls of their staff who mindlessly continue their given tasks.
In the second book our heroes have made their way into another dimension where people don't have daemons, but there are spectres that are invisible to kids but not to adults. When you reach puberty you can see them and they come eat your soul.
From there our heroes make it into a third dimension that is much like our own world. They're researching dark matter which is the same as Dust. It's established that the Dust is really fallen angels. So, the church is really the good guys right? Fighting those who rebelled against God? I started wondering what the churchies were objecting to. Sure, the church is running experiments on kids and cutting out people's souls but if it's to help fight God's enemies then it's good, right? Lord knows that the real world church has a history of being much nastier and repressive than the one in the book.
The Dust caused people to evolve into intelligent beings, not God. The Dust wants to use us in in the next war against God. So... thanks, but no thanks.
The Subtle Knife is a tool that can kill the spectres in the second world and open passages into alternate dimensions.
Meanwhile, back in the first dimension the church has been busy cutting out people's souls to raise an army of mindless soldiers. The zombie soldiers are to be used to fight the army that is being raised by the hero's father to fight God.
So really, the question of who is good and bad depends on your point of view and whether you think the ends justify the means.
At the end of the book we find that Dust and the people working for it call God "The Authority" and view it as an oppressor who cares only for obedience from everyone. From my own reading of the Bible I can't really say that this view is out of line. God always seemed like a real self important jerk to me.
So aside from the obvious bit where the fallen angels talk about the oppressive nature of God (what else would you expect them to say about God?) I think the big objection that the Christians would have against this book is that it encourages people to think about issues. Christian leaders have never been big on people thinking about stuff.
This book wasn't nearly as insulting and obviously intended for little kids as the first book. As way of review and summary I'm going to focus on the controversy of these books. Christians are very upset by these books. I'll get to why quickly.
The world of these books contains multiple dimensions or alternate worlds.
The first book focuses on something that looks a bit like England before the invention of the automobile. Each person has a being that is never far from their side their whole life. It can change shape when you're a kid but when you reach puberty it picks one shape that is indicative of your personality and stays that shape until you die. This creature, a Daemon, is basically a manifestation of your soul.
In this world the church is pretty much still in control of everything. They monitor all scientific research, make sure people obey them, and aren't above assassinating people that piss them off. They're researching a substance called Dust while making sure that nobody else researches it. They fear Dust without really knowing what it is. They know it's attracted to adults but not kids. They've found that Dust loses interest in people once they've had their Daemon's cut away. But that makes the people effectively zombies (voodoo, not braaaainnns). They find this out by experimenting on children. They've already cut away the souls of their staff who mindlessly continue their given tasks.
In the second book our heroes have made their way into another dimension where people don't have daemons, but there are spectres that are invisible to kids but not to adults. When you reach puberty you can see them and they come eat your soul.
From there our heroes make it into a third dimension that is much like our own world. They're researching dark matter which is the same as Dust. It's established that the Dust is really fallen angels. So, the church is really the good guys right? Fighting those who rebelled against God? I started wondering what the churchies were objecting to. Sure, the church is running experiments on kids and cutting out people's souls but if it's to help fight God's enemies then it's good, right? Lord knows that the real world church has a history of being much nastier and repressive than the one in the book.
The Dust caused people to evolve into intelligent beings, not God. The Dust wants to use us in in the next war against God. So... thanks, but no thanks.
The Subtle Knife is a tool that can kill the spectres in the second world and open passages into alternate dimensions.
Meanwhile, back in the first dimension the church has been busy cutting out people's souls to raise an army of mindless soldiers. The zombie soldiers are to be used to fight the army that is being raised by the hero's father to fight God.
So really, the question of who is good and bad depends on your point of view and whether you think the ends justify the means.
At the end of the book we find that Dust and the people working for it call God "The Authority" and view it as an oppressor who cares only for obedience from everyone. From my own reading of the Bible I can't really say that this view is out of line. God always seemed like a real self important jerk to me.
So aside from the obvious bit where the fallen angels talk about the oppressive nature of God (what else would you expect them to say about God?) I think the big objection that the Christians would have against this book is that it encourages people to think about issues. Christian leaders have never been big on people thinking about stuff.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Book review: The Han Solo Adventures
Back in the 70's Brian Daley wrote a trilogy of books about Han Solo and Chewbacca that came before the Star Wars movies. "The Han Solo Adventures" is a compilation of all three books.
If you're looking for a Star Wars book this isn't it. All three books take place in a galactic arm with no native intelligent life. It's just a bunch of star systems and planet being stripped of their resources by a big corporation that operates outside of the Empire's influence.
There are certain story elements that had to be replaced since they hadn't encountered the Star Wars heroes yet. C3-P0 and R2-D2 are replaced with two other droids, Bollux and Blue Max. Bounty hunter and sharpshooter Boba Fett is replaced with another sharpshooter (whose name escapes me) that wants to put his skills against Solo. Obi-Wan, Luke, and Leia were just story related passengers that get replaced story to story.
But if you're looking for Han Solo stories then these books are for you. They do expand upon his character and background.
They're not terribly compelling books. They're not making my top 10 anything list, except maybe top 10 Star Wars books that I've actually read since a one eyed shop teacher could count the number of Star Wars books I've read without taking off his shoes.
If you're looking for a good Star Wars book I'd suggest "Tales From the Mos Eisley Cantina". It's a collection of short stories that tell the stories of each and every creature you see in the Mos Eisley Cantina in the original Star Wars movie (Episode IV: A New Hope)
If you're looking for a Star Wars book this isn't it. All three books take place in a galactic arm with no native intelligent life. It's just a bunch of star systems and planet being stripped of their resources by a big corporation that operates outside of the Empire's influence.
There are certain story elements that had to be replaced since they hadn't encountered the Star Wars heroes yet. C3-P0 and R2-D2 are replaced with two other droids, Bollux and Blue Max. Bounty hunter and sharpshooter Boba Fett is replaced with another sharpshooter (whose name escapes me) that wants to put his skills against Solo. Obi-Wan, Luke, and Leia were just story related passengers that get replaced story to story.
But if you're looking for Han Solo stories then these books are for you. They do expand upon his character and background.
They're not terribly compelling books. They're not making my top 10 anything list, except maybe top 10 Star Wars books that I've actually read since a one eyed shop teacher could count the number of Star Wars books I've read without taking off his shoes.
If you're looking for a good Star Wars book I'd suggest "Tales From the Mos Eisley Cantina". It's a collection of short stories that tell the stories of each and every creature you see in the Mos Eisley Cantina in the original Star Wars movie (Episode IV: A New Hope)
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
The attic
An unmodified picture of me working on the new attic. If my pose seems awkward for operating a saw it's because I was cutting through ceiling beams and really didn't want to be sitting on one. Plus 118-138 year old wood is REALLY hard.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Hand off
Sunday:
I just got off the subway and I'm heading for the surface. In front of me is some white guy in a jogger's outfit with something Hawaiian written on the back. As he approaches the escalator he looks off to the side. Coming off the down escalator some middle eastern looking fella in American style clothing comes crosses over and bumps into the first guy. They apologize to each other and as they pass their right arms bump and their hands meet. Not just a bump. The white guy took something from the middle eastern looking fella's hand that he then slipped into his pocket without looking at it.
I don't know if they heard me laugh or not.
I just got off the subway and I'm heading for the surface. In front of me is some white guy in a jogger's outfit with something Hawaiian written on the back. As he approaches the escalator he looks off to the side. Coming off the down escalator some middle eastern looking fella in American style clothing comes crosses over and bumps into the first guy. They apologize to each other and as they pass their right arms bump and their hands meet. Not just a bump. The white guy took something from the middle eastern looking fella's hand that he then slipped into his pocket without looking at it.
I don't know if they heard me laugh or not.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Good Saturday
No, I'm not declaring yet another new holiday. I mean I had a good Saturday.
After sleeping late (any weekend that I get up before 10 AM is automatically a failure) I went out for my typical breakfast. There's no new movies or good talks to attend so I'm just bopping about.
Walking down 13th street I found a new historical sign. They're popping up all over town to tell about historical buildings and neighborhoods. This one was stuck to a fence announcing that the house behind it was where Duke Ellington grew up. I knew that one of the big jazz legends had gone to school up the street from me but I'd forgotten who.
Several blocks later I was deep in thought about not terribly deep subjects when something demanded that I stop. I'd just walked past the first ForTwo Smart Car I'd seen in person. As I was checking it out to make sure it was really what I thought it was someone actually came up and asked me if it was my car. We walked on for a few blocks talking about it. And no, I didn't ask her out. She has a husband.
My next car
I finished two books that you'll get reviews for soon. "The Han Solo Adventures" by Brian Daley and "The Subtle Dagger" by Philip Pullman. I never have just one book going at a time.
I got home and councelled an old friend via chat.
Then I shimmied back into the attic and got back to cutting away some beams. But that's another post completely. I think I got some good pictures, too. Before coming down I started finally creating an opening into the bedroom. I should be able to, at the very least, get the box created Sunday even if I don't get the ladder put up.
After sleeping late (any weekend that I get up before 10 AM is automatically a failure) I went out for my typical breakfast. There's no new movies or good talks to attend so I'm just bopping about.
Walking down 13th street I found a new historical sign. They're popping up all over town to tell about historical buildings and neighborhoods. This one was stuck to a fence announcing that the house behind it was where Duke Ellington grew up. I knew that one of the big jazz legends had gone to school up the street from me but I'd forgotten who.
Several blocks later I was deep in thought about not terribly deep subjects when something demanded that I stop. I'd just walked past the first ForTwo Smart Car I'd seen in person. As I was checking it out to make sure it was really what I thought it was someone actually came up and asked me if it was my car. We walked on for a few blocks talking about it. And no, I didn't ask her out. She has a husband.
My next carI finished two books that you'll get reviews for soon. "The Han Solo Adventures" by Brian Daley and "The Subtle Dagger" by Philip Pullman. I never have just one book going at a time.
I got home and councelled an old friend via chat.
Then I shimmied back into the attic and got back to cutting away some beams. But that's another post completely. I think I got some good pictures, too. Before coming down I started finally creating an opening into the bedroom. I should be able to, at the very least, get the box created Sunday even if I don't get the ladder put up.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Valenteen
Valenteen. It's the day before Valentine's Day. You know, like Halloween comes before All Saints Day (a.k.a. All Hallows, a.k.a. Hallowmas). Only instead of dressing up you're supposed to completely fail to dress up.
Here's how to celebrate. On February 13th you skip all the usual morning preparation stuff. Guys shouldn't shave, apply cologne, or use anything other than a hairbrush on their hair. Women should skip their makeup and perfume, only use a hairbrush on their hair, and wear comfortable clothes to work.
Obviously if there's a dress code you have to stick to that. So sweat pants are probably out of the question. But still you should feel free to leave the high heels at home. Forget the tight and/or revealing clothes for one day.
Why?
Because the next day is Valentine's Day. It's all about romance and candy and candles and dressing up for your significant other... and huge profits for the candy, card, flower, and lingerie companies. Every day we dress up a bit. For Valentine's Day we dress up a LOT. If for just one day, Valenteen, we fail to dress up and show our partners our real selves it'll make the work we do on Valentine's Day that much more impressive and hopefully make our partners appreciate the work we do every other day a little bit more.
Why?
Because Valentine's Day is the day for all the people who have someone to really rub it in the noses of the single people of the world. As if we don't have to put up with enough of that crap the rest of the time. Valentine's Day is the day they really do it up and yell "neener neener neener" at the single people of the world.
You don't think so? Send those flowers to her home instead of her office and see how much they mean when all the coworkers DON'T get to see them.
Valenteen is the holiday for single people and for those who found someone only after a long hard struggle to show their solidarity with the singles of the world.
Why?
Because men are clueless dorks who have seen so many Valentine's Day signs, displays, and decorations since January 2nd that they've become numb. After all that they're still gonna screw up the big day. If you come out without makeup, your hair pulled back, a sports bra, and frumpy clothes he might realize he has 24 hours left and actually be able to pull something off.
Here's how to celebrate. On February 13th you skip all the usual morning preparation stuff. Guys shouldn't shave, apply cologne, or use anything other than a hairbrush on their hair. Women should skip their makeup and perfume, only use a hairbrush on their hair, and wear comfortable clothes to work.
Obviously if there's a dress code you have to stick to that. So sweat pants are probably out of the question. But still you should feel free to leave the high heels at home. Forget the tight and/or revealing clothes for one day.
Why?
Because the next day is Valentine's Day. It's all about romance and candy and candles and dressing up for your significant other... and huge profits for the candy, card, flower, and lingerie companies. Every day we dress up a bit. For Valentine's Day we dress up a LOT. If for just one day, Valenteen, we fail to dress up and show our partners our real selves it'll make the work we do on Valentine's Day that much more impressive and hopefully make our partners appreciate the work we do every other day a little bit more.
Why?
Because Valentine's Day is the day for all the people who have someone to really rub it in the noses of the single people of the world. As if we don't have to put up with enough of that crap the rest of the time. Valentine's Day is the day they really do it up and yell "neener neener neener" at the single people of the world.
You don't think so? Send those flowers to her home instead of her office and see how much they mean when all the coworkers DON'T get to see them.
Valenteen is the holiday for single people and for those who found someone only after a long hard struggle to show their solidarity with the singles of the world.
Why?
Because men are clueless dorks who have seen so many Valentine's Day signs, displays, and decorations since January 2nd that they've become numb. After all that they're still gonna screw up the big day. If you come out without makeup, your hair pulled back, a sports bra, and frumpy clothes he might realize he has 24 hours left and actually be able to pull something off.
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