In the beginning...

In the beginning there was nothing, not even time
No planet, no stars, no hip-hop, no rhyme
Then there was a bang like the sound of my gat
The universe was born and the shit was phat
    - "The Big Bizang" by MC Hawking

The Bible is rubbish. It makes some excellent points and certain parts may have actual historical backing, but by and large it's a highly contradictory work written and edited by several committees. Even the Pope has finally admitted that much of it, especially the Old Testament stuff, is allegory and not literal truth.

So I'm going to start with the Creation and try to apply the six 24 hour period model to a history with a bit more backing.

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
3 And God said, Let there be light: 2 Cor. 4.6 and there was light.
4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

13.7 billion years ago, as we measure time, there was nothing. Nothing except the singularity. Contained in the singularity was the whole universe smashed into an area smaller than a pixel on this screen. Contrary to popular belief, even if there was air to carry the sound and someone to hear the sound, the sound it made was probably not a bang, not even a big one. But you can be sure that it would have been really loud.

9.2 billion years later one of the swirling clouds of debris from The Loud Noise collected into a very hot and radioactive lump that we call Earth. Over the next half billion years the planet cooled, rains came, oceans formed, and simple self-replicating nucleic acids began to form along vents in the ocean floor. The nucleic acids became cellular life. It took another billion years for these cells to develop photosynthesis so they could also get fuel from the sun. Another billion years and the cells were becoming complex enough to form something that we might start to recognize as algae. Yet another billion and the first multicellular life appeared as plants. Four hundred million years and the first animals appeared. One hundred thirty million years and the first arthropods appeared. Then more complex animals and fish.

Then 488 million years ago darkness fell upon the Earth. The ice came, the seas dried, and death took the plants and animals in great numbers. Thus endeth the first day.

6 And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.
7 And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.
8 And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

I'll grant you that I stuck the Biblical first and second day into one day. Just wait.

On the second day the life spread and changed, becoming more diverse and complex. Reefs were formed, sharks patrolled the seas. Plants moved onto the land as moss and lichen and fern.

Then 444 million years ago darkness fell upon the Earth. The ice came, the seas dried, and death took the plants and animals in great numbers. Thus endeth the second day.

9 And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.
10 And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.
11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.

On the third day the life spread and changed, becoming more diverse and complex. Plants became grasses and began to bear seed.

Then 360 million years ago darkness fell upon the Earth. The ice came, the seas dried, and death took the plants and animals in great numbers. Thus endeth the third day.

See? Grass on the third day!

14 And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
15 and let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.
16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.
17 And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,
18 and to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.
19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

Here we diverge again.

On the fourth day the life spread and changed, becoming more diverse and complex. Life began to crawl from the sea. For short periods at first but longer with each generation. Slowly they moved farther and farther from the seas. Amphibians and reptiles and things that were almost but not quite mammals walked the Earth.

Then 250 million years ago darkness fell upon the Earth. The ice came, the seas dried, and death took the plants and animals in great numbers. Thus endeth the fourth day.

20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

On the fifth day the life spread and changed, becoming more diverse and complex. Reptiles grew to enormous size while tiny mammals hid between their toes. Things that were almost but not quite birds grew things that were almost but not quite feathers.

Then 65 million years ago darkness fell upon the Earth. The ice came, the seas dried, and death took the plants and animals in great numbers. Thus endeth the fifth day.

24 And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, 1 Cor. 11.7 after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

On the sixth day the life spread and changed, becoming more diverse and complex. Mammals became dominant on the land. One hundred thousand years ago the first humans appeared. Sixty thousand years ago the common father to all modern humans lived.

Then came cars and industry, chemical waste and wars. The ice came, dried the seas, and death took the plants and animals in great numbers. Thus endeth the sixth day.

31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

On the seventh day God rested for there was nobody left to watch over.


There were five major extinction events (and one lesser event) in Earth history. I'm going to say that each of these would be a dark period, or night, for life on Earth. Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night, Friday night, and we're bringing Saturday night.

p.s. I know this is poorly written. It's just for my blog. Someday I'll flesh this out a more and try to make it not rubbish.