Tuesday, July 19, 2011


What did cartoon characters use to represent ideas before the invention of the light bulb?

If we ever develop flying saucer technology I think the first ship should be called the USS Whammo.

Why don't we have bricks shaped like Legos? They'd require less mortar, wouldn't suffer many of the issues I see in older brick homes, and you wouldn't have to worry about bricks falling out of the middle of the wall.

It occurs to me that the recently passed date for the end of the world prophecy would have been a good time for a killing spree. We could have killed and destroyed the bodies of the entire Westboro Baptist Church (godhatesfags.com), scattered some of their wardrobe around their homes, and told everyone that it turns out they were right and they were the only ones who were raptured.

I've discovered the secret to immortality. If you are what you eat, then you should only be eating things that are still alive.

They keep talking about passing the bills for our spending off to the next generation. Well screw that. I say we claim the Social Security of everyone who was 30 to 50 when Reagan took office. SURPRISE, BITCHS! You have to pay your bills like everyone else.

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