Anyhoo, the couches I had acquired in college had passed to others. The family couch that was older than me (and sheltered me from countless Daleks) and the foam futon that had been through an untold number of previous owners both stayed with the ex-girlfriend since she was moving in to the house that I was moving out of. I needed a new one.
Grandma had this nice plaid couch with a floral pattern sewn into it. That and a very sturdy coffee table. She let me have both and they came with me to Kansas City. Then they came with me to DC. Then to another part of DC.
When I had my back wall replaced everything I owned had to fit in my bedroom. It took me a year to get access to my bed again. For that year I slept on this couch. After sleeping on the office floor for a month that was the most comfortable couch ever.
So it's had a good life. But now there are mice who have spent time in there. No nest, just droppings and areas that might have been chewed or might have aged poorly due to something hard and pointy underneath the fabric.
Birds have pooped on the couch. I cleaned and cleaned, but it never all quite comes out.
Two of the legs like to come off if you pick it up or shift your weight too much.
It's time to retire it.
Having no access to a field I was unable to perform the usual furniture retirement ceremony. That involves getting together with some friends, cutting open the furniture, stuffing it full of old homework and a few fireworks, and setting it on fire. Additional fireworks may be lit off the flames.
Tuesday night I put the couch on the sidewalk. DC's bulk pickup was to come for it. When I got home after work Wednesday the couch was missing.
Farewell, little couch. I hope the seagulls at the dump enjoy you.
note: Yes, I am aware that I've given a more heartfelt sendoff to my sofa than I have in most obituaries to people I know.
4 comments:
Should that be, "post-college, with absolutely NO moving of hay bales required?"
Yep. Fixed now.
bibblety
I'm sorry that you're sad about your couch :-( But think how great the new couch will be! The new couch is a couch to make out on, whereas the old couch was one to ask, "Do you smell that?"
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