While cleaning out my inbox I found lots of old conversations with bits worth keeping. Here's the second batch of several.
In reference to a conversation about her couch-shredding dog.
JC: There are other mammals that don't usually eat couches that you could try. Gerbils, platypuses...
She: Oh, I like guinea pigs, but I've got too many critters already.
JC: Like what?
She: Oh, a fish, a turtle, the dog.
JC: Wow, you're... pretty much working on the whole food chain there.
She: (laughs) I guess I am
JC: Yeah, all you need now is some plankton and a Korean Deli and you'll have it completed.
JC: Acceptance is the first step.
ME: Heavy drinking is the second.
I think the on my keyboard is broken.
She'd have trouble finding South Carolina on a map of South Carolina.
Discussing high school fight songs: We had "We're gonna get you after school,..." but it didn't have much of a tune to it.
Discussing the band at someone's upcoming wedding:
ME: I think you should get a didgerydoo, an accordion, bagpipes, and a harmonica to perform at your wedding. They'll call themselves the Wind Triangle Federation or WTF for short. My first request is "Flight of the Bumblebee".
JC: If you manage to get a digeridoo, accordion and bagpipe band to play at your wedding, I'll pick up the tab. Hell, I think we might all kick in for it. The flocks of horny, confused geese descending on your wedding reception would be worth the price alone.
JC - Headline from today: "Iraq Kurdish leader snubs Rice over Turkey raid"
ME - Ah, Thanksgiving dinner at the White House.
ME - [JC], I'm gonna take the train into KC a few days before [RJ]'s wedding and we're gonna build his car decoration in your garage. Is there a rebar supplier in your neighborhood?
RJ - Oh dear. Sounds like we'll be driving the '95 Accord to/from the wedding, huh?
ME - Excellent. We were gonna need the make and model to build the mold from.
JC - [AN], You mentioned you wanted 10 gallons of bull semen. Is goat semen OK? There's a few farms out near Gardner that might be able to supply.
WS - Don't forget the wiring schematics for the car.
Cobain's best work was his "Unfinished Symphony for Clarinet and Shotgun".
Headline: "Bush Calls for Direct and Rapid Stimulus"
JC: Why yes, yes it does.