When we went to the movies last weekend we got to take a survey about a movie trailer. They wanted to know how to make them more appealing. We also got some questions about actors and how particular actors made a movie more or less appealing. I've done similar surveys over the phone, too. Before I would have said the actors don't make a difference, but in reflection that's not true. The presence of David Tennant made "Fright Night" more appealing. So did their pick for Conan in this new "Conan the Barbarian" movie. He played Ronon Dex on "Stargate: Atlantis".
I'm not a huge Conan fan. I don't think I've read a single comic. I did recently pick up the original stories written by the original author, but I haven't cracked it yet. Mostly I'm familiar with him from the spoofs. Mad Magazine when I was a kid, tales of Cohen the Barbarian from the Discworld, things like that. I think that this movie was more true to Conan than the Schwarzenegger movies, but I'm up for any correcting you might want to do.
The movie starts out slow. I mean after you get past his birth and the death of his mother on a battlefield. So, "slow" isn't the right word. "Poorly". Yeah, lets go with that. Some of the acting, particularly the young sorceress, was awful. Except for Ron Perlman. He's good.
An ancient object of power that was once used to almost take over the world was broken into pieces and scattered after the one wearing it was defeated. Somehow nobody thought to throw it into Mt Doom. Then, during test of manhood the up and coming warriors are attacked by something from beyond the thunderdome. They're followed by knights and some Asian Spaniards.
Once you get Conan into adulthood things pick up. He and a friend wander the land looking for the six fingered man who killed his father. Wherever they go the two of them put right what once went wrong. Preferably with topless women involved. Once they get a lead Conan takes off on his own to deal with mad priests, evil sorceresses, a power mad ruler, sand demons, captive and hungry giant "squid", and a princess who is the last of her bloodline. The blood is copious, the sound effects crunchy, and the numerous battles make you feel the sympathy pains.
No Oscars are coming out of this movie. I won't be getting it on DVD. But, if you want an action movie this is the one to see. And if they make a sequel I'll probably see it, too.
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